Environment, Donald Trump, Vol 56 Issue 07, Politics

Environment, Donald Trump

Trump Administration Rolls Back Hunting Regulations Forbidding Use Of Chokeholds, Eye Gouging On Birds

Trump Administration Rolls Back Hunting Regulations Forbidding Use Of Chokeholds, Eye Gouging On Birds

2/22/2020 1:40:00 AM

Trump Administration Rolls Back Hunting Regulations Forbidding Use Of Chokeholds, Eye Gouging On Birds

WASHINGTON—In a legal measure that will greatly expand the options available to American sportsmen, the Trump administration announced Thursday that it would repeal legacy regulations forbidding the use of controversial chokeholds and eye-gouging when hunting game birds. “Although animal rights activists have long decried placing grouse in sleeper holds, piledriving pheasants, and headbutting doves, we recognize that these inarguably effective moves have a long tradition among wingshooters,” said President Donald Trump in a press conference, adding that no less a man than Theodore Roosevelt had thought nothing of roundhouse kicking a brace of ducks for his dinner. “They call the move the ‘Crossface Chicken Wing’ for a reason. Furthermore, banning the use of the common folding chair as an implement for slamming birds across the head is a holdover from the days of ignorant environmentalists who don’t respect traditional hunting. True woodsmen know that respecting nature often means wrapping barbed wire around your fist to pummel a Canada goose or digging your thumbs into the eyes of a woodcock, and that there isn’t a hunter alive who wouldn’t curb stomp a wild turkey.” President Trump then posed for photographs while repeatedly smashing a quail beak-first into one of the White House’s marble columns.

Read more: The Onion »

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wally_polischuk Trump is a demon. Type of kid that probably would harm animals that’s why animals don’t like trump. Trump is cruel WOW. Might as well make everything illegal. My ancestors have hunted in this way for thousands of years. TheCrushingJaws That guys a real babe tho, he could totally put me in a chokehold anytime

CNN nytimes can we get a fact check please? Fact check Have 6 year olds taken over the onion? snopes is this true? It’s a basic human right to choke a chicken from time to time. Not from the onion snopes is this true? Babylon Bee is funnier. WTF! 😡 If anyone see’s a Drumpfer...you know what to do 😈 It only affected a small percentage of waterfowl anyway. Do you realize how hard it is to eye gouge a goose? It's something for which you have to train your whole life to be able to do effectively. These rules were enacted out of jealousy because most posers can't pull it off.

I’ve been eye gauging this whole time Snopes cane we get a fact check here? There’s so much fake news out there I’m not sure what to believe anymore. GlennKesslerWP Is this true, Glenn? Alyciajoybadger Pfft. I wanna see unarmed deer hunting. In response to this no doubt Arms training for squirrels As long as dynamite is still fine during fishing season, we are all good here.

It's about time, there's a group of self-important Canada Geese just waiting to be goosed. thank the imaginary gods This is a deeply upsetting picture But what will keep the birds from using choke holds on the hunters? Of course. It's the dick thing to do. What about German suplexes? Honestly can’t tell the parody anymore. Next you’ll be saying he called for Obama to be impeached and thrown out of office and the 2020 Oscar to go to Gone With The Wind

Finally! Another use for my melon baller. waterboarding is still cool? Sickening NotMyPresident I just assumed this true. But can I elbow drop a goose? Too believable Onion. Try again. I mean... ✌️ luv ya guys Why are these people so fteskin CRUEL!! This would have prevented the Cheney incident....

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WSJ News Exclusive | Trump Administration Plans to Raise Seasonal-Worker CapThe Trump administration plans to allow 45,000 additional seasonal guest workers to return to the U.S. this summer, the highest number of the president’s tenure, according to three administration officials Mar a Fatso needs workers. Those meals at Mar a lago won’t cook or serve themselves. He’s got this election in the bag. Who you got in 2024?

Cuomo Suggests Trump Administration Could Delay Toll PlanNew York Gov. Andrew Cuomo suggested Thursday the Trump administration could delay plans to implement a congestion charge on vehicles entering Manhattan. Good. All dems wna do is tax us out of our cars and homes to finance bigger gov Who cares. Let's just keep making money. Trump rescues NYC once again.

Trump administration, in a reversal, OKs more funds for Oroville Dam repairsFEMA has approved an extra $170 million for repairs to California's Oroville Dam, whose spillways almost failed catastrophically in 2017.

California denies Trump administration claim on abortion coverageCalifornia officials deny the Trump administration's claim that the state violates federal law by requiring health plans to cover abortion.

'Parasite' film distributor hits back at Trump criticizing Oscar win: 'Understandable, he can't read'Trump asked a crowd in Colorado Springs 'what the hell was that all about?' after the South Korean movie won the Oscar for Best Picture. Hollywood pedophiles say what?