WASHINGTON—Calling it a blatantly corrupt abuse of the recruitment system, critics slammed Alabama’s senator-elect Tommy Tuberville Wednesday for using free cars and Auburn cheerleaders to lure a five
-star intern onto his staff. “Tuberville clearly spoiled this guy with steakhouse dinners and signed footballs to snatch him away from Ted Cruz,” said whistleblower Josh Winston, who claims Tuberville took the highlyand spent thousands of dollars on escorts to inappropriately sway him towards joining his team on Capitol Hill. “These kids are supposed to do this for college credit.
who comes from an elite prep school. Any senator would be happy to add him to their roster, and it’s unfortunate that someone like Tommy can just buy their way through the process.” At press time, Tuberville announced plans to suspend the intern for two sessions of Congress for accepting illicit funds.
He doesn't know the branches of government. There's nothing you guys can do to top that, sorry.
Tommy Tuberville told Mitch that $174K salary is Sun Belt coach money. He needs $8MM salary, house, car & country club membership or he's taking his senate seat to Texas
With a little rewording this could be worse in a couple different ways. Pretty standard otherwise.
The intern appreciated all the free sex, but would have done it for free to avoid the smell of spoiled milk emanating from Cruz's pores.
Fantastic.
Knew these jokes would come up sooner or later. Oh, well. WarEagle
This is not even satire. That idiot will do exactly this. FFS.
Well played.
A team is only as good as its weakest link. I’m looking at you Alabama.
Another standout in the line of great political leaders from Alabama.
'What you do now here on earth determines where you will spend your eternity. 이 땅에서 여러분이 하는 일이 여러분이 영생을 어디에서 보낼지를 결정합니다. MidweekBlessedWord
If only Congress were held to the standards of the the average NCAA scholarship athlete
You had me going there for a second. Tuberville couldn't pass a citizenship test that immigrants are required to take!
Haha I thought the Onion was supposed to be satire! Haha love from Nederlands friends! 😂😂👏👏
ㅊ'The church that will enter Heaven bears the mark of the old ancient Cross of JESUS. The Old Ancient Church Preached CHRIST JESUS Crucified and Resurrected. MidweekBlessedWord ㅍ
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