, then allow an individual to rewrite history and position himself or herself as the victim or the hero.
In the example above, Lisa acts disrespectfully. She humiliates her husband and refuses to view her actions as hurtful. She says the phone call is an attempt to help, but, in reality, it may represent Lisa’s need to be the hero in the relationship. As she is pressed, she flips to a victim stance and continues to evade sincere accountability by blaming her actions on a bad day.
A robustly defensive partner may be emotionally stunted and out of touch with the capacities necessary to resolve conflict:
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