n’t congratulate them or urge them to keep pushing till they’re in the ICU.“Alas, the Fates have selected you to die.”
While rare, breakthrough cases are not a sign that the goddesses of destiny have chosen to cut the thread of someone’s life.“Tell everyone you received Moderna shots.” Don’t discreetly slip someone a $100 bill on the condition they pin all the blame on your pharmaceutical rival.“Okay! See you at work tomorrow, then!”
Reminding your colleague that they don’t get any paid sick leave simply calls attention to the unfortunate realities they face as a worker in America.“You should have made your antibodies work harder.”“I am never going to die.”While this is obviously true, it is not the most sensitive thing to say to someone who is currently sick.List slidesAt least give them a few days to be confident that this is the only time they’ll get it.“You need to isolate for at least 10 days and drink plenty of fluids.
'you'll be in the office tomorrow, right?'
covid is bullshit! A coronavirus is weaker than the flu and the most common bloodtype in the world and it counter (+ and -) is basically immune unless they have an autoimmune disorder, are elder/shitty health, lung disorder or heart disorder like with any viral sickness
Try the other end.
That’s an EXCELLENT pick-up line. Will try if she let me make out with her.
meh...not yer best work...
Breakthrough means success. Do we congratulate them?
“I hope you have a long drawn out recovery” Wishes said out loud never come true. 😂😂😂😂😂
My GF has a coworker who has had it three times because she refuses to reduce her socializing activities.
TheBabylonBee is infinitely more hilarious than You guys need to get off the woke train before it’s too late.
Poor Dave.
...on the same level as 'Don't have a car accident, it'll make your rates go up...' Well, Duh... ;)
“The latest variant might make you more interesting and thoughtful”
Since when?
Which is worse....having the Rona or being transgender?
Be afraid Pfiser CEO needs a new yacht.
I’ve always really liked you. Am I in your will?
Aren’t you glad you got triple vax’d?
I'm in quarantine right now, waiting on results and this is the funniest thing I've read in forever!
They call me COVID teflon Jones.
Breathe easy, the end is near
I don't say them anything I just keep distance
Not so smug now, eh? /Kidding //I've got my shots
Poor Dave
The Onion is really a boring, party-line shadow of itself.
🤔 gettin too real here
“It’s just the flu” lol that’ll make em freak out
How about, you had it coming? or... did you really think that vaxx was going to protect you?
“your own body betrayed you”
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