These are the 5 stage of grief you go through after a death

These are the 5 stage of grief you go through after a death

6/15/2021 5:05:00 PM

These are the 5 stage of grief you go through after a death

Lianna Champ, a bereavement counsellor talks us through the 5 stages of grief and shares the coping strategies that can help for after a death

Stages of grief: DenialWe can never deny that someone has died, but we can choose not to believe it. There is shock, numbness and we may not want to let the truth in. We may even try to carry on as if nothing has happened.Stages of grief: AngerWhen we suffer a significant loss, we go through a roller coaster of emotions. In this mix of emotions, anger can be thrown up. Anger is not an emotion in its own right, but stems from hurt, fear or sadness.

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Grief makes us feel out of control and that in itself is scary. The anger can grow into a large ball and it can be easier to remain angry than to process the truth around the pain of our grief. And even though anger means we are not in control, it can trick us into thinking we are.

'The grief experience is as unique to each of us as our own fingerprint'Bitterness, frustration, lack of being able to control what has happened can all manifest in the feeling anger. We may lose patience with ourselves and wonder why we haven’t ‘got over’ it. Anger is not a forward emotion, it holds us in the same place. Always. Unless we identify what we are really afraid of.

Stages of grief: BargainingWe can never change what has happened, no matter what promises we make. We can only resolve to do better or be better. We cannot swap one emotion for another, we can only admit how we really feel through our losses, so we come through the other side.

UnsplashThe symptoms of grief are so similar to that of depression. Grievers have a reduced sense of concentration and often have trouble focusing. It plays havoc with their sleeping and eating patterns, and simple tasks become difficult.Grievers can also self-identify as being depressive, if they believe this is a stage they must go through. If we ignore our sadness and carry unresolved grief, it can have a negative impact on our physical and mental wellbeing.

Related StoryWhat helped Konnie Huq deal with griefWhen we grieve, our emotions can feel overwhelming. In grief, the intense sadness of the early days can be lifted in the times we share our happy memories of the person who has died. We then remember and return to grieving. This is normal, however, if months after the loss your intense feeling of sadness is persistent and pervasive (and you feel disconnected from everything around you and are struggling to get back into the mainstream of living) then you may be suffering from depression.

Also, if you have feelings of hopelessness about the future and are struggling to think outside of yourself. If you have suffered from depression previously, you need to be extra vigilant when you experience your losses. Read more: Red Magazine »

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