The Topical

Humane Society Urges Americans To Opt For Shelter Turkey This Thanksgiving

11/25/2020 6:30:00 PM

Humane Society Urges Americans To Opt For Shelter Turkey This Thanksgiving

The Topical is the daily podcast from The Onion and Onion Public Radio, and the only podcast brave enough to ask: What if the news had sound effects? Join host Leslie Price each day as he barely scratches the surface of all the day’s top news stories. Journalism isn’t dead. It's using its dying

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taylorgeorgakas JamesGeorgakas1 look it’s b63378a1cc5247f (dad) hms2193 since he’s all out of weed Haaha Oh boy he waited a bit too long. I dunno where he's at but if he's in the north, it's too damn cold to run a smoker. kristenmarc Hey Vernaculis, you made it in the onion. That’s what I’m doing!😜 Why yes, thats my plan... Gify time!!

this man learned everything he knows from the internet. And for that, I do not trust him If you cook the turkey for Thanksgiving you are a god. You make Thanksgiving happen. You are a big shot. Imagine being Daniel and freaking the fuck out because they called you out in the podcast He’s all talk. chefdonnyy

Shhhh. I'm hunting turkey and I'm going to smoke this one with my 12 guage homie! Gunna stuff him with buck shot venison. Check mate his temperature with my thermolaser cause I don't like my turkeys raw son. G 2da O 2da 2xBBle word to your turkey. It will still be dry. TheNamesJib 👀 UncleChaps SkitzoGambit no clue why you came to mind 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

HAHA. I know a few of these people. And he cooked these monstrosities. I feel attacked. You had to be a big shot, didn'tcha - you had to open up your mouth CPUZwolfy Not every turkey feels thankful on Thanksgiving day Most chefs I know would just smoke a joint Will it fit in his pipe? That's the same guy that doused his ribs in Juul juice last summer.

I feel seen, . Should I go into excruciating detail about my homemade turkey gravy that takes three days to make? estradazphere 😂😂😂 The hard part is getting the giblets into the bong. 🥴 Me lol Um, bad link. Johngcole d1rtydan Wow! The Onion drops the F-Bomb!! What a year Only thing he's smoking is his mum's panties.

Hey, now! Your getting a little close for comfort! There's always got to be one asshole. cc: therealweissman Fucking big shot chef -.- We gotta start thinking outside the box... smoke with the turkey. Big Shot Chef needs to man up and deep fry that thing. younganimalto Should've pardoned the turkey. Loser

Well, fuck him then This is the head gobbler from the world turkeyton. I ggoobb..warn of the impending invasion unless you free our gobbo.. flightless kin. We will take them to be ggobb..mutated to our level. We will not harm you ggobob..potatoes unless you force us coleslawter you. Gobble Gobble! But I already have three!

I was too late to get one from the shelter this year, they had all been gobbled up. That is so kind 😢 Umm shelter turkeys... This seems like a legit thing that a white 42 year old Evangelical Christian lady named Karen would say. The reason there’s still so many turkeys in the shelters is because it cost so much to adopt them. They got to be vet checked have all their shots be spayed and neutered. It’s much cheaper just to get them frozen from the store

That's pretty warped. Shelter Turkey Lives Matter