The Greatest Succession Insults, Ranked

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What is the best Succession insult? Who has delivered the most insults? And which character is the most-frequently insulted? (Spoiler: It's not Cousin Greg.)

Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos by HBO Succession is one of the best shows on television for many reasons. It’s a timely unpacking of capitalism and how power corrupts. The performances give its characters and their family drama more dimension, all with a healthy mix of comedy and tragedy.

At Shiv’s wedding reception, Kendall sees right through his long and lanky cousin when Greg tells him that he made copies of the documents from cruises he was asked to destroy, following that up with “anyone would be wise to keep me in a good role.” Greg might seem like a bumbling idiot, but in this moment Kendall discovers that Greg has strategized to get himself ahead just like everyone else.On paper, this sentence is not particularly unique.

At Kendall’s 40th birthday party, Shiv furiously dances by herself as if nobody’s watching. Unfortunately, everyone she knows is watching. Anyone can dance whenever they want, but that does not mean that anyone should dance in public. Shiv is clearly more comfortable in a fitted gray suit in a boardroom in the Financial District than she is in a dark club in Hudson Yards, so she looks a little out of place here and Roman calls her out behind her back.

This insult accomplishes a few things at once: First, it gives sweet old Frank, who may be the only character on Succession who has any sliver of good morals in his body, a sinking feeling in his stomach. Second, it also provides some eloquent exposition on the backstory of a tertiary character. Third, it establishes why he’s back in Logan’s circle after betraying him alongside Kendall in the season-one bear hug attempt.

This line, which Shiv says on the Roy family therapy trip to Connor’s ranch in New Mexico, demonstrates how much Shiv has changed since the first season of Succession. In season one, Shiv sparred with her father. She stood against — or told herself she stood against — everything her father represented. She pushed back against him and Waystar’s values, and insulted him whenever she had the chance. Now, in season three, Shiv is quite the opposite.

It does not matter if a spider can go down a dick. What matters is Tom’s sing-song-y delivery, and if Matthew Macfadyen gets an Emmy for his performance in season three. If he doesn’t? A million poisonous spiders down every Emmy voter’s dickie.

 

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