How does perfectionism become dysfunctional?
There are actually multiple types of perfectionism, in which people may direct those high expectations at others or themselves, or may feel that society has high expectations of them, Dr. Igor Galynker, professor of psychiatry and director of the Mount Sinai Beth Israel Suicide Research Laboratory, told TODAY.
Perfectionists can be so hard on themselves that when they don't achieve those goals,"it becomes a huge disappointment, a huge injury,” Ostermeyer said. For some, especially those with other risk factors, that kind of disappointment can lead to depression, she said. Those feelings can also manifest as anxiety about failure, or insecurity about never being enough.
In this way, perfectionism can directly cause mental distress. And it can also rob high-achieving adolescents of the support systems and skills they should be developing to cope with the inevitable ups and downs of life. Those who have other risk factors for anxiety and depression may be particularly vulnerable to the effects of extreme perfectionism, the experts said.
At the most extreme end, it's important to recognize emergency warning signs. Those can include changes in behavior, as well as voicing feelings of hopelessness or being a burden among many others, according to theAmong perfectionists, that hopelessness may show up as"the feeling of being trapped in a no-win, unbearable situation generated by failing to achieve some kind of goal," Galynker said.
Balancing their time spent on that activity with other normal parts of adolescent life, whether that's spending time with friends or pursuing other hobbies, is crucial to help them develop the life skills they'll need.“Part of our role as parents is to bring new experiences to adolescents’ attention to try to show them the wide range of things that they could be doing as they expand their intellectual curiosity,” Auerbach explained.
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