The Book Newly Sober People Love to Give to Each Other

Photo: Caravaggio When she was 35 and working as a marketing executive, Annie Grace was also drinking two bottles of wine a night. She’d taken breaks from drinking to have children, and she was able to abstain during the work week if she wanted to, but she still felt like alcohol played an outsize and destructive role in her life. And so she did some research, changed how she thought about drinking, and stopped entirely.

In your opinion, what would be the ideal cultural role that alcohol might play in 20 years or 50 years? Or, what would be a long-term goal of your work? Yeah. Because in our culture, if we question our drinking, the main question is: Am I an alcoholic? Or: Do I have a problem? And those are, for me, very fear-based questions that can inhibit growth.

I think the harm comes when we use the term “alcoholic” in society in general. That same friend came up to me and was like, “Annie, I have learned this about myself, and you’re just not an alcoholic.” And she categorized my drinking as slightly different than hers, because I wasn’t necessarily doing some of the same things she was doing. And because I could take a break from drinking, like when I had a baby. But she was like, “Annie, you’re not an alcoholic.” And I really took that to heart.

Another aspect of this is that it gives people a huge false sense of security. An “alcoholic” is very firmly the person — the person is the problem. That’s not often said overtly, but “an alcoholic” is a specific human being with a condition, whereas alcohol by nature is addictive to all human beings. Studies have shown that with enough exposure in the right circumstance, anyone is going to become addicted to alcohol.

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