Ted Cruz Just Wants Everyone to 'Lighten Up,' Confirms 'Heidi's Pretty Pissed' About the Leaked Texts

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“I haven’t had this much negative press coverage since northern California in the 1960s,” Senator Ted Cruz said, inflicting a morsel of humor into an interview with the hosts of Ruthless, a podcast whose entire premise is built on the idea that conservatives can be funny, actually. But the only thing funnier than Cruz’s reference to the meme that he’s the Zodiac Killer was his tepid lament on how “politicized” we are, as well as his suggestion that people “stop being assholes.”

Cruz did have one gripe that was relatively understandable: The paparazzi hounding his wife in Cancún. We can quibble about the optics of a Senator’s wife luxuriating on a sandy beach during a crisis in her home state until we’re blue in the face, but it’s safe to say that nobody needed confirmation of Heidi Cruz in a bathing suit on a beach with her children.

Even more creepy, frankly, was paparazzi went down to the beach and took pictures of Heidi in her bikini... and theran all these pictures of Heidi in her bikini. And I will tell you, THAT she is pissed about. All the rest of it she’s fine, but she’s... now, I’m sitting here—look, Heidi is smokin’ hot, so I looked at the pictures and said, man, you look great—but, you know, she’s...

The rest of the interview consisted of miscellaneous anecdotes: Snowflake, the family dog, was fine, actually, during Cruz’s brief vacation ; he kept a folder listing his failures as a child ; and his last meal of choice would be beef enchiladas . But nothing could top the alarming lack of self-awareness that continued to rear its ugly,

 

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How does Heidi feel about Ted Cruz sucking off the man who called her 'ugly' on international Twitter?

LOL tedcruz he was ratted by his own whatsapp friends, so CancunCruz was screwed by his wife friends when this dude is taking accountability is always someone else fault, his children, his wife, his ugly face...WTF

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