Tamra Judge's Ex-Husband Simon Barney Diagnosed with Stage 3 Throat Cancer: 'I Was Ready to End It the Other Day'

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'My first thought was, 'I don't want to take my kids to their dad's funeral,'' says Tamra (via toofab)

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for 13 years before calling it quits in 2011, has just revealed his stage three throat cancer diagnosis.PEOPLE

It was wasn't until he paid a visit to new top doctors that the former reality star discovered his diagnosis was cancer that it had spread into his throat, tonsils and lymph nodes. Barney's diagnosis has actually helped bring peace to his and Judge's admittedly dysfunctional family. Tamra and her once-estranged daughter, Sidney, began communicating again, as have Simon and his once-estranged son, Spencer. Barney says he's also been communicating more with Tamra's oldest son, 34-year-old Ryan Vieth, whose tumultuous relationship was documented on the early seasons of "RHOC.

"The process is the real bad part," he explained. "It basically attacks all of your organs. You're like poisoned. It's been killing me. If I had a choice, I probably wouldn't have done chemo and radiation at the same time, but that's what they recommended. It's like hitting your head with a hammer and pouring gas on yourself. I was ready to end it the other day, the symptoms were so bad. It's almost worst than the cancer.

However, he's remaining positive. "I have hope," he said. "Doctors have said I'm doing really well so far. They look at me and they go, 'Man, you don't look like you're going through chemo.' So that's good, the prognosis is good."

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TooFab Of course her first thought was about herself.

TooFab 💔💔💔💔💔

TooFab Girl u crazy! The hell he put you through keeping you out of your daughters life her most formative years! Years you can never get back and none of it matters because he has cancer?! When did he ever rally around you?!

TooFab Thoughts and prayers to you and your family!

TooFab So sad💔 praying for him and the whole family🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

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