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Taco Bell To Offer Discreet Purchasing Charged Under ‘TBfoodsLLC’

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IRVINE, CA—Aiming to provide customers with an effective and easy way to consume their products free from judgment, Taco Bell officials announced Thursday that patrons at any of the fast food chain’s 5,600 locations will now be given the option to have their purchases appear inconspicuously on credit card and bank statements under the name “TBfoodsLLC.” “At Taco Bell, we understand that you might want to keep your meal purchases hidden from your spouse, friends, or anyone who might catch sight of your financial documents, and our objective is to protect our customers’ privacy by ensuring that the name Taco Bell appears nowhere on any bank website or official paperwork,” said company spokesman Adam Webb, touting the new measure as a convenient alternative for its customers who have long had to pay for their Taco Bell items in cash to avoid the embarrassing possibility of being found out by a financial paper trail. “Taco Bell patrons should feel free to indulge without worry or shame, as our receipts will now exclusively feature the name TBfoodsLLC as well, and all menu items, such as our Chipotle DareDevil Loaded Griller and Nachos BellGrande, will be rung up using far more discreet terms, in this case ‘turkey sandwich’ and ‘chips.’” Webb added that the company will also be packaging all to-go orders in plain, logo-free brown paper bags that have been specially lined to limit the release of any aromas.

 

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Yeah i wouldnt want mcdonalds to catch me cheating at taco bell.

thank goodness

honest!!!! it was just a foot long burrito!!!!!

clarkanian

Attn ReporterBartonD 😂

Pay with cash and avoid the documented shame.

woodsamantha goodfellaz23 🤐

Wish there was true

🤔

jonboudreaux

Taco Bell To Offer Discreet Purchasing Charged Under ‘BigTitsCamGirlsLLC’

Much better than the old 'Drunken2AMFlamingButt.'

Watch out tom Brady might sue.

maniacmichele

My 25 year boycott continues

Taco Bell The original laxative

Andy_Bonks Nice and discreet...SydneyBonks will never know!

Haha Destini1992 so we aren't embarrassed by all the times we go there

I'm a proud Taco Bell consumer, and I cherish every burrito experience 😍 tacopride

Did you see this ilovejohnkimble ? Not something you'd need! 🤣👍

I've often mistaken real news articles for Onion articles. This is the first time that I mistake an Onion article for real news.

Am I the only one fucking the shit out my burritos?

samhuppert This would totally be useful if it was real!

Good to know! (My Del Taco charge says “boner pills.” 🙄)

Could simply call it Gas Purchase.

PurpleKibby

Do they sell glizzys? Asking for a friend

Damn... thats going to confuse the hell .... all those .99 cent orders

Still a no for me.

TFW IRL QT TB on the DL minding their P's & Q's FTW.

My police precinct will love this feature!

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