Study: Depression Up Among Teenage Girls Able To Perceive Any Part Of World Around Them

WALTHAM, MA—Calling it nothing short of a mental health crisis for the group, a study published Monday infound that depression was up sharply among teenage girls able to perceive any part of the world around them.

“Our research has shown a significant increase in anxiety and depression among 13- to 19-year-old girls who are capable of taking in stimuli from their surroundings and processing them into an understanding of the outside world,” said study author Natalie Ogilvy, adding that an ability to observe day-to-day existence, comprehend media, or register any of their own personal experiences were among some of the strongest predictors of emotional difficulties for teenage girls­.

This why it best to just be numb.

Spot on

This is the most sensible take I’ve seen on the teen depression issue.

this is just real why is it on a satire news site

I tell my students (as a joke, I promise) that I don't trust happy teenagers. Sad teenagers are the ones paying attention.

glosswitch What is rhe point of this 2016 article?

In related study teenage boys are deuchbags.

Smiling more might help.

Too smart, too soon...

Not a parody

We can't get rid of sociopaths for our lives.

I find no humor or irony in this 'parody'. Young women are unhappy and anxious thanks to overly-hyped global warming and Covid issues. Thank you MSM

Good news, young lady, Jordan Peterson is back on Twitter.

Studies show roughly 75.8% of white females showing these systems find solace in taking up for a minorities plight for justice, just to piss off their white male partner who’s main goal at the moment!!! is figuring out the nuances of a roughing the passer call in football.

Oof

I wish this was a joke.

I need parody from you, not the real dystopia we call America.

All they have to worry about is global warming, nuclear war, mass shootings, sexual assaults, affordable healthcare, student debt, affordable living, and gender inequality. What's depressing about that?

Jesus Christ the Onion has been infiltrated by incels!! Read these comments!! Holy fuck

Ouch.

You use to be funny.

Dear The Onion - please hire more women. Stat.

Ouch.

Pretty sure depression is up among the majority of us after these past 3 years...

they're seeing a feminist world, so of course they're depressed. :^)

So about 10 percent?

Sometimes I wish that a solar flare would take out all satellites and telecommunication. People would weep over their phones for a bit, but then we'd relearn how to look one another in the eye and talk. Kids would rediscover their imagination, get lost in the woods, live again.

Study: Guys that write semi-shitty jokes shouldn't joke about teenage girls and depression

Hang in, there MeghanWMcCarthy

White teenaged girls are literally the most oppressed group of people on the planet

What are you doing, Onion? I thought you were a parody account!

I’m a teenager; I have problems...

'If i dont get my iPhone 11 pro max before chirstmas, my social life will be ruined!'

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