Study: 89% Of Husbands Planning To Surprise Wife On Valentine’s Day By Dressing As Naked, Chubby Cherub
FORT COLLINS, CO—A new study released this week by researchers at Colorado State University revealed that 89 percent of U.S. husbands intend to surprise their wives this Valentine’s Day by stripping nude and then donning a skimpy homemade costume so as to bear the likeness of a plump, winged child-angel. “I just wanted to treat my wife to something special this year,” said 38-year-old James Lyons who, like naked husbands across the nation, was busy transforming himself into a roly-poly cherub by applying rouge to his cheeks, gluing feathers onto cardboard to make wings, and fashioning a garland of green construction paper for his receding hair. “Katie has always wanted to try a little role-play, so she’s probably going to freak when she comes home to find her husband transformed into a sexy, full-bodied herald of childlike innocence. Now if you’ll excuse me, I still need to tune up this antique lute before my wife gets home from work.” At press time, researchers had confirmed that 89 percent of U.S. wives found themselves unable to eat the special dinner their husband had prepared until he agreed to put on a shirt.Advertisement Read more: The Onion
. “The law of averages says a few actually do think of this” In this study it becomes evident that the wives do not realize who the true meals are! I gave my wife chocolate dipped fruit. Missed this opportunity. But....but cupid/amor/whatever never gets laid himself. Doesn't this mean they'd also have to get another guy for the wife? Isn't this basically cuckolding?
HDeCo_27 ItzJustinEllis y’all are the only tweety bois I know that are married or about to be so this has to apply to at least one of you. Would’ve thought it’d be closer to 95%. “Dressing as naked”? I am baffled. i clicked the image... expecting a full one :( That’s adorable. Sorry gross Just based on my last subway ride, that number is low.
Ex-Trump Press Secretary Sean Spicer criticized for selling special Valentines Day videos for $199Former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer was mocked on social media after offering a special sale on personalized videos, claiming he would provide 'the best Valentine's Day gift ever.' Who the hell would want to look at him. Turn-off, not turn on. Criticized by who and for what exactly? I'm guessing nobodies and for no apparent reason other than libturdiness.
another reason i'm thankful to be a lesbian But constructing a tabernacle every year to guard is a pain. ValentinesDay2020 realDonaldTrump Putin Art by richardborge RELATED: Studies reveal divorce filings spike the day after Valentine's Day. do they shoot their wives with heart arrows too She Hated It.
I thought I was being original At least his arrow is pointed in the right direction! This how I’m tryna be with my gf i do this every day
Edible Arrangements Valentines Day GiftsSwap your traditional dozen red roses and box of chocolates for an Edible Arrangement that will surely make your Valentine feel special ForbesFinds It’s after 5pm ON Valentine’s Day, quit advertising. Sweet!!! 😜
Every day each person in america wastes over 1,500 calories worth of food, study findsLevels of food waste are likely worse than previously though, said Monika van den Bos Verma of Wageningen University. A can of pringles Don't tell GretaThunberg
Vanessa Hudgens Celebrates Valentine's Day After Austin Butler Split: 'Day of Loving Myself'PEOPLE confirmed last month that the actress and her longtime boyfriend had split
Nordic Style Magazine on Instagram: “Happy Valentine’s Day 💓 @idaklamborn”32 Likes, 0 Comments - Nordic Style Magazine (nordicstylemag) on Instagram: “Happy Valentine’s Day 💓 idaklamborn”
Who Are These Stylish People at Day 6 of Fashion Week?Who are these stylish people at NYFW? itscamilleco 😍💕