Stressed-Out Sean Hannity Buys 12 Little Cabins In Maine To Get Away From It All

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BAR HARBOR, ME—Explaining that he really needed to escape from the increased public scrutiny into his personal and professional life, stressed-out Fox News host Sean Hannity reportedly bought 12 little cabins in rural Maine over the weekend to get away from it all. “I was getting really burnt out with work stuff and trying to deal with that whole Michael Cohen thing, so I decided to head up to Maine for a bit and purchase a dozen quaint cottages where I can just kick back and relax,” said Hannity, adding that he was looking forward to a little peace and quiet after buying up all the properties in a 10-mile radius through a shell company and evicting all of their tenants. “I absolutely needed a little stress reliever, so I splurged on these cozy, remote cabins where I can just unwind and recharge my batteries. It’ll be nice to get out of the rat race for a while and just enjoy the great outdoors with nobody else around. Man, this is the life.” At press time, Hannity was feeling utterly serene and carefree after receiving a $6.8 million check from the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development that paid for his 12 new cabins in full.

 

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OH god. My mother is from Maine. All her family live in Maine. Luckily I live in Australia. What a relief

When I was trying to survive my family after school, you guys posted a headline that Bush was going to leave Iraq by driving tanks through Iran. I laughed so hard I cried. This isn't even smirk-able

City of Maine, in Siberia I hope

He looks like an angry face drawn on a thumb.

SenSusanCollins is very concerned

He looks like a Minecraft creeper in this inage.

7 bed bugs appreciative.

Oh, God....where? I will avoid it!

ThirdLimbCD

Did Cohen act as Hannity’s reality lawyer.

Reading off handwritten cards from Trump is a tough job! Enjoy your 12 cabinet while children are going hungry! Russian TV reporting is a stressful job!

The onion used to be funny. But that was years ago.

He needs 12? Or is this just another side of his irrational behavior?

As long as he can bring Sho-Nuff to train with

How can he afford this now on top of the alimony payments?

Who gets custody of his head?

One for each of his turkey chins

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