An executive coach asked me a few years ago,"If you had the cure for cancer, wouldn't you want to scream it from the rooftops?" He was surprised when I said,"No."
No doubt others often receive"telling" as a push, particularly if you are loud. While we accomplished the goal, my pushiness angered the team and prevented others from bringing forward better solutions. Once someone digs their heels in against something, it requires extra finesse to stop the reaction and reset the conversation so you can have meaningful dialogue. Therefore, your initial communication is very important. My bet is you can see examples in your own world.I have found an answer through practicing and teaching the martial art, aikido. Aikido does not meet force with force head-on.
1. Check your state of being: Are you grounded and/or centered? When you operate from an internal state of calm and balance you are in a state of prior fulfillment, and it is unlikely others will feel a"push" from you regardless of what you say. It is worth your time to develop this presence because it broadens your perspective and hones your gut instincts.
In the low ropes exercise, my intention was to get the task done fast and right — but the purpose of the session was collaboration. My desire for perfection and speed blinded me to that intent.
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