Speak Into the Golden Microphone: A Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Holiness Ranking

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Brethren and sistren, welcome. Today’s pre-ranking sermon is about abundance. Last week, there was no holiness ranking because I, your devoted First Blogger of the Church of Andy Cohen of Latter-Day Viewers, was found lacking. Lacking in the spirit of the snark and lacking in the energy stay up late enough to watch Housewives, which airs at the most unholy hour of 10 p.m. on Wednesday nights, to write about it before the sun rose on Thanksgiving, when my most important task was to get a turkey into the oven as early in the day as possible.

Jen has found herself in the middle of classic first seasondrama. One of her friends said something mean and now Jen is out to make sure her other friends are securely in her pocket and against the one friend who is accused of wrongdoing. Sowing division is extremely un-Muslim-

Brooks Marks, who is one more comment away from stealing this entire show, is technically eligible to marry Jen because he is of consenting age and not related to her in any way, therefore while she is not hijabi herself there is a level of decorum that is expected while in this man’s presence. She was also drunk and cursing in this episode so you already know what that means.

 

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