Space Tourist Spends Entire Vacation Inside Space Shuttle

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CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—Despite having never visited outer space before in his life and being completely free from the everyday demands of work, family, and gravity, space tourist Dick Knowles spent his entire 19-day, $7 million vacation holed up inside the space shuttle Atlantis, sources reported Monday.

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—Despite having never visited outer space before in his life and being completely free from the everyday demands of work, family, and gravity, space tourist Dick Knowles spent his entire 19-day, $7 million vacation holed up inside the space shuttleWhat Knowles did during his summer vacation: drift over Earth in a cramped space shuttle.

"He didn't even visit the moon, for Christ's sake," Plotnick added. "Who goes to space and doesn't visit the moon?" Attorney and golfing partner Steven Margolin said he was also disappointed to learn that Knowles dined on prepackaged meals of thermostabilized chicken and dehydrated cheese rather than sampling the local cuisine."Do you know what he said his favorite part of the trip was? Gazing at the Earth," Margolin said. "Not going to Mars, or flying through an asteroid belt, or even checking out one of those black holes, but 'gazing at the Earth.' Way to broaden your horizons, pal.

 

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This is my reoccurring dream slash nightmare.

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