Vol 56 Issue 47, Coronavirus, South Dakota

Vol 56 Issue 47, Coronavirus

South Dakota Unveils New ‘Come Die Here’ Tourism Campaign

South Dakota Unveils New ‘Come Die Here’ Tourism Campaign

11/28/2020 2:00:00 AM

South Dakota Unveils New ‘Come Die Here’ Tourism Campaign

PIERRE, SD—In an effort to attract visitors to a state that is home to some of the worst Covid-19 infection rates in the world, South Dakota officials launched a new tourism initiative Friday that will be centered around the slogan “Come Die Here.” “For years, people have flocked here to see Mount Rushmore, but now South Dakota is also a great place to just come and die,” said Gov. Kristi Noem in a prepared statement, which touted the dwindling availability of ICU beds, lack of a statewide mask mandate, and opportunity to take one’s last, fluid-filled breaths amidst the scenic backdrop of Badlands National Park. “What could be better than perishing while surrounded by the gorgeous Black Hills after enjoying a scrumptious last meal of chislic or bison burgers? Wild Bill Hickok went down in South Dakota , and now it’s easier than ever for you and your loved ones to do the same!” At press time, reports confirmed North Dakota, Wyoming, and Nebraska had all sought to compete with South Dakota by launching their own similar campaigns.

PIERRE, SD—In an effort to attract visitors to a state that is home to some of the worst Covid-19 infection rates in the world, South Dakota officials launched a new tourism initiative Friday that will be centered around the slogan “Come Die Here.” “For years, people have flocked here to see Mount Rushmore, but now South Dakota is also a great place to just come and die,”

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saidGov. Kristi Noemin a prepared statement, which touted the dwindling availability of ICU beds, lack of a statewide mask mandate, and opportunity to take one’s last, fluid-filled breaths amidst the scenic backdrop of Badlands National Park. “What could be better than perishing while surrounded by the gorgeous Black Hills after enjoying a scrumptious last meal of chislic or bison burgers? Wild Bill Hickok went down in South Dakota, and now it’s easier than ever for you and

your loved ones to do the same!” At press time, reports confirmed North Dakota, Wyoming, and Nebraska had all sought to compete with South Dakota by launching their own similar campaigns. Read more: The Onion »

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DustinDHansen Fake BillinPortland 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 BillinPortland draiochta14 Uncanny is no longer in the humor business 😉🤣🤣 Been a while since you guys made a joke foswi Competing with Florida's. 👎🏻 Popehat Might work better than their last ten slogans.......... sundene 👆🏽Not the Onion govkristinoem

Popehat 'south dakota - you're dying to visit!' Popehat Looks like they've updated their last PSA Popehat Not the Onion Popehat South Dakota: Come for Vacation, Leave on Intubation Those damn Republicans what will they come up with next What are the WELCOME centers like as you drive into this state ? Free cyanide and pamphlet by Dr Kevorkian ?

draiochta14 The better campaign would be North & South Dakota become one state! I call foul and you have just lost your objectivity and relevence Pretty sure we, here in Florida, have a copyright infringement case against that one I see another Sarah Palin wannabe. npbeers 🦠🥵🤮☠️💰🕳️🏚️ Just enjoying my freedom here in South Dakota.

Rather Die in Freedom than Killed in a Socialist State. So photogenic so vacuous the next Republican idol Lol better than Nebraska’s real slogan: “it’s not for everyone” we may all be going to SD killerkristie DerrickJWyatt THERES A SOUTH DAKOTA?!?!? this murderess is up for re election in 2022. not soon enough to save thousands due to covid, but maybe for the next epidemic or natural disaster.

“Meth, we’re on it.” brthnm Happy New Year! Just waiting (wanting?) for the ball to drop in South Dakota. TeaPartyCat I get really tired of the welfare States of Republican States that feed and suckle off of the income off of blue States like California Google California GDP why they have to pay for these ungrateful people.. Smart people don't go to South Dakota...

FAIL Crazy eyes, glassed over zombie Except that you literally won’t die, you fear mongering idiots TeaPartyCat So much truth in this satire Come die with me... we’ll die will die today! Covid does not equal death with dignity, of which I am a proponent. Who, in god's name, would want to die a Covid death. Please show more on ventilators, so people can see reality.

TeaPartyCat Is govkristinoem the face of youthful death ? If you are a proponent of 'right to die', I still wouldn't want to go a state that isn't equipped to handle the sick. You may be terminal, but who wants to die drowning in your own mucus/fluids that build up with Covid. Not a death with dignity. I think this is truly sick!

These folks look spacey TeaPartyCat I mean, do we really need 2 Dakotas? Yeah... ahhh no thanks She's the definition of 'DISASTER' or 'LOSER' Kristi Noem is the best Governor in the country. Thanks to her I'm still a successful small business owner in South Dakota. Peace, Love and Sunshine ya'all✌️💜☀️🇺🇸 Peace, Love and Sunshine

Bring your religious beliefs and pack your non-science book and pick out a burial plot. jimbuctwit Funny how some governors lock there States down with all these restrictions...dont do Thanksgiving..wear a mask in your own house...but restrictions for Black Friday Exmas shopping. No governors said dont stand in the long Walmart lines..hypocrites. LOCKDOWNS DON'T WORK

TomHoltzPaleo Well that does make sense, considering that South Dakota's badlands are chock full of fossils. Maybe this tourist campaign attracted all those prehistoric animals to go die. Come for the scenery, fertilize the greenery. With the “Come Die Here” campaign, it appears Kristi Noem is pulling double duty in the State of South Dakota—one as a Governor and one as a cult leader. Who would have seen this coming? SaveYourself WearAMask WashYourHands SocialDistancing AvoidTheVirus HealthyAtHome

would never go after Andrew Cuomo, even tho he put covid patients in nursing homes, but the onion would never want to offend the Left. She gives me white devil vibes! oo CBSNews m Good Job Governor. You People should wear a Mask.if you want to.or not.If You're not Happy move to California. You belong there.

😂😂😂 I'm from out that way. 4 of my children still live there. My USAF is in quarantine. 2 of my girls work in healthcare. There are two major things driving govkristinoem. Farm /ranch subsidies and the Dakota Access Pipeline. The Onion is more truth than satire these days. SOUTH DAKOTA ! WE HAVE THE BEST CEMETERIES ! VISIT FOR A WEEKEND , STAY FOREVER ! PAID FOR BY THE SOUTH DAKOTA TOURISM BUREAU AND OUR BLONDE GOVERNOR !

bmxdadmn 'but now South Dakota is also a great place to just come and die'. Lol. Very forward thinking advertising 🤣👍🏻 I believe it. maddiehowey MasaccioEW Wow, such an optimistic outlook on life. No matter the stage or age. Kinda heart-less. 💛 CULT !!! carlquintanilla Good luck with that. Meanwhile, will the people of SD vote for her again?

There are worse places to die. joncoopertweets She looks like the devil 😡 Bad lands indeed. She just follows anything DiaperDon says . joncoopertweets She looks like one of the Stepford wives I know this is satire, BUT unfortunately this has a grain of truth to it... Under Noems human shell THIS IS LURKING!!

joncoopertweets Krazy Eyes. South Diekota 😂 Damn that is nasty headline. Who in the hell advertise with you,they don’t deserve our support !!! What is disturbing is that Onion headlines aren’t as obvious as before ... I really have to second guess and check I thought this might be real for a second Scary

StevijoPayne The eyes have it. joncoopertweets I would not take a dump in South Dakota joncoopertweets Jim_Jordan should be a spokesperson for the campaign. hbryant42 Go so I can buy your house. joncoopertweets PEOPLE GOT WHAT THEY WISHED FOR, DEATHS IN THE HANDS OF A CORRUPT AND INCOMPETENT LEADER.

Or Make Dakota one Dakota. carlquintanilla I love this hbryant42 Millennials gonna turn SD blue before they die. I'm afraid that govkristinoem is another ideolog who thinks people will make the right decisions if left to their own devices. Many apparently haven't. Does SD have a law prohibiting DUI? Probably, because it can prevent deaths. Same provisions must be made for masks.

those eyes...i wanna 'joker' makeup the fuck out of her! This is more close to reality than onion worthy. Come on you need to work harder. Especially with politicians saying we should sacrifice our grand parents at alter of stock markets. This is pretty lame onion stuff. It's getting harder to parody these days, amirite?

TheBabylonBee is way funnier than this LeslieLee327 Am I the only one seeing it? joncoopertweets If I drive through SD I will be sure to buy from Indians, other minorities, and DEMs. I might do some research to prevent my money accidently going to racists or republicans. FireMonkee There's a weird nihilistic death wish among some diehard MAGAs. It can't really be explained without resorting to something as anachronistic as Freud.

joncoopertweets joncoopertweets A beautiful evil Disney witch. Huskertj49 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄 joncoopertweets BREAKING: South Dakota’s snow queen officially joined the Frozen III cast joncoopertweets S.D. Public Health Initiative ‘Coronavirus- We Get It’ Goes Into Full Swing joncoopertweets Yeah snow queen

joncoopertweets Oh shit! joncoopertweets Capita not capital. Sorry. joncoopertweets govkristinoem strong work! GOPGenocide RepublicansAreKillingUs joncoopertweets Pathetic...... I hope that Gov Noem is held fully responsible for the red zone that she has created.... and misusing covid19 funds! joncoopertweets 🤣

joncoopertweets But can she see Russia from her back yard? Is that a joke? Ils sont fous ces ricains!!! 🤪 I know this is The Onion, but this is actually kind of true. They spent their COVID stimulus money on tourism advertisements. Looks like an aging pornstar Oh. I didn't realize it was the Onion. Based on what little I knew about their governor, I thought this was totally real.

Now do Cuomo getting an Emmy for 33,000 dead New Yorkers on his watch. JCote41270575 You forgot to mention - half price for anyone in a MAGA hat At the end of the COVID 19 crisis which Dakota will have had the most deaths? I don't trust the Onion anymore. They're now the Real News media! govkristinoem VioletMilosz Tragic

That explains everything happening in SD. She is insane! Oooooo! To the rest of the world, that is exactly what it looks like. Culture or not, (freedom above all else, even public safety of others) it is a turn off for tourism and product buying from this state. Who needs Dr Jack Kevorkian when you can get it done in South Dakota?

Even if SouthDakota's governor is an idiot, residents would have no one else but themselves to blame if they listen to her. She is insane...PERIOD!!! irizarr2 I fell down an Onion hole just then... thank you. 🤣 Trump...she’s on it 🇺🇸 LoL They should build a wall around that damn state and cut them off. Any sane person can get out, all the covidiots can stay in there and deal with it (without Doctors and help from the rest of country)

She’s trying to compete with JimJonesTrump CovidKristi South Dakota has no shortage of barren land to bury the dead. all that being said chislic is great Finally, something to do in south dakota what was their last campaign? come die with me? Dark. I think she is related to Sarah Palin...gotta be. 😂😂😂

“Emptier places. Emptier spaces” —South Dakota Nếu hai hay ba người đồng ý một mục đích chung, không gì là không thể. OscarNunezLA There’s a spot on Mt. Flushmore with her name on it. What is her name That should probably be Illinois, but why would you speak ill of a Dem run state when you can bash a Republican Governor?

Chicago should sue SD for ripping them off Love this carriemartin357 lol. Now do Florida. GolfinBum Are you serious! How f__ked is that She should be impeached. GOP the party of death That’s what they get for electing a bat-shit crazy governor. SeanSJordan pallmallsquerel 😂 It occurred to me. Gov. Kristi Noem is a praying mantis.

They have two US Senators representing less than a million people we have two representing over 40 million people. That should probably be Illinois, but why would speak ill of a Dem run state when you can bash a Republican Governor? I really really want to see Mount Rushmore, but....nah. There's pictures in books and online.

carlquintanilla Well done govkristinoem SD has actually been advertising tourism A LOT here in Wisconsin. The overall theme I’d characterize as “come visit once you’re no longer terrified to come visit”. masterlongevity In book 'Strangers in their own land' author reported that LA Tourism bureau promoted great fishing in bay &mouth of Miss river only to advice anglers to remove all innards due to pollutants from heavy concentration of chemical industry in LA due to lax environmental enforcements

She's pretty fuckin hot. I would totally go down on her if i had the opportunity. Pity...my fondest camping memories are from the badlands. This is not even satire at the moment AdamParkhomenko Do they still get two Senators when there are no people left? BetsyHodges So far it’s been “Get it here and take it home.”

SeanSJordan America is becoming so ridiculous that the onion can't even make up sarcastic enough headlines to outdo the actual headlines Hasn’t Florida been using this campaign since the 70’s? I guess that’s just to get people to move there She has those crazy full of the devil Michele Bachmann eyes 😬

Well they are playing Commercials in Minnesota come visit South Dakota 🎄🇺🇸 🎶 Where’s the satire? govkristinoem CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY Yet she wholeheartedly supports Trump..... Jim_Hellwigg MarkSchweitzer 1 in 1,000 dead is pretty dire for a state that has nothing. The vacuous stare of winning. govkristinoem Sad this could actually be something you would do. Don't be upset you didn't think about it.

What is there to do in South Dakota anyways? I'm seriously worried that COVID is going to reduce the population size of SD down to 3. Seriously? So many better things you should be doing to help citizens instead. 😱 It’s cheaper LesBowen Sarah Palin? TomiLahren TheCrazySaguaro GovRicketts is jealous She’s got dead eyes.

Oh hey, Kirstin, nice Botox work on the face, but have them spend some time with the neck. Looks pretty rough/scary. 😱govkristinoem It’s not a joke! I saw it here in Colorado and they do it with a straight deadly face! govkristinoem ah, the truth speaketh. You are a dolt. Hard competition in shitcago or bodymore

Lol Only if they guarantee me an ICU bed. The Kevorkian of states. MoreFatGramma Pre-planned funerals are highly recommended. Economy is booming, about $6.6 million spent in SD on Covid funerals so far. Kristi Noem has cemented her place on the Mt Rushmore of stupidity South DaCovid thekjohnston They love this moron in my town 🤢🤢. I’m surrounded by idiots.

How do South Dakotans pick a governor? They should re-think it. This Governor Quisling Noem, whose rhetoric undermines the constitution, is a scofflaw with failures to appear in court for traffic violations. This attitude led to highest per cap COVID. Remember when the onion used to be actually funny?

Yea..some of us in SD have well tuned humor sensors!! govkristinoem GOPBetrayedAmerica I mean, she's literally run TV ads in Minnesota boasting about her COVID response, so this isn't far off. Covid. We got it. beepsjr 😆 South Dakota is the new Florida! No mention of tater tot hotdish? The last one was regarding all of us were on meth, so this is a step up. lol lol lol ...good one Onion.

HAHAHHAHAHA govkristinoem has that vacuous, crazy look of a cult follower, much like Michelle Bachman, batshit crazy It's THE undertaking Mission NeverMaybe 6feet-Down pain under the crown The Undercover ops of Daisy Deadwheed 16Tons and what u get.. on your head.. Imperial Measurement.. or Stones Noiceless Choices Southern Comfort Coma style Concrete living cross roads

Haha. No go to NYC nursing home under control of cuomo New Jobs program: Undertakers Wanted! thekjohnston She got that programmed stare going on. Where is my tea cup and spoon? That’s hilarious! It’s scary how sometimes sarcasm dances on the edge of reality carlquintanilla If you are a true American you don’t put down someone’s belief. We don’t have any room in USA for media‘s gestapo attitude SouthDakota

thekjohnston She is going to hell. Death registers as a Republican timmyisanerd BREAKING: 1 out of every 1,000 South Dakotans has now passed over to that great big SturgisRally in the sky. Thank you govkristinoemfor and realDonaldTrump for your continued leadership in this time of crisis. Just when we thought the Onion was returning to satire. Nope.

Thought Florida already had that slogan? So Gov. Kristi wants to 'neuter' men via Covid damage via asymptomatic spread/no mask? Covid=Vascular Disease (blood pressure damage+nerve damage + blood vessel damage + cognition/brain cell damage = 'DEAD ON ARRIVAL' HOLY GRAIL OF MANHOOD). GrowAPairWearMasks

When did The Onion stop doing satire and start doing actual news? JaneCanary19 Is this lady just a repackaged Tulsi Gabbard? 😂😂👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽❤️ South Dakota can eat shit EricTopol will appreciate this one Is there a word for the struggle facial muscles endure while under the effects of Botox. I can almost see her brow is trying to furrow, but is paralyzed!

“First let my satanic eyes beguile you and draw you in with hopes of receiving sexual favors.” Because... SouthDakota An excellent campaign! You can actually see hell from there, although it’s sometimes called North Dakota. carlquintanilla ultra conservatives spell it 'dye'--they are too ignorant too often

The capital of South Dakota is Pierre, and the NRA CEO is Mr LaPierre. I might be grasping at straws here. 4xInsight This joke works better for the top 3 states New Jersey, New York, and Massachusetts. Come for the COVID, stay for the cemeteries. She's also the genius who spent millions of taxpayer dollars on this winner...

Is this what you said after 9-11? This is truth! I’d like to see a report of how many people die each day in the USA, period. Where does Covid fall in the order of severity as the actual cause of death? Is it in the top 2? What is first and why isn’t it talked about? Come to South Dakovid on vacation. Two weeks later it’s Covid and cardiopulmonary resuscitation!

1 of every 1000 people in SD have died. She needs to be hauled off to The Hague Coming soon to all other states. Perfection *chef's kiss* She does kinda have that Children of the Corn look, huh? CovidImpotence anyone? COVID is a Vascular Disease=which means it can destroy any organ/organ system in the body including the brain=Delirium & Psychosis all the way to 'Dead on Arrival Holy Grail of Manhood...' 🤫and everything else in between... 😱 Any questions?🤨

😂😂 South Dakovid home of the governor who shoots hand released pheasants for a promo 👀🤷🏼‍♀️ blk_LM lololol 🤣🤣🤣🤣 The Bee is so much better at this. Oh, look, the Onion is trying hard. Read that wrong. Thought they legalized brothels. Ive reported this to TourismAus, thats our motto. AdamParkhomenko This is truly hilarious!

Too soon in crisis for gallows humor?! ...however, the anti-science reality being cultivated in some States the real public threat. TruthDecay PublicHealth COVID19 evidencebased policy. Finally some positive press for South Dakota! It’s more like ethnic cleansing 🤬 BradleyWhitford So this is what they are calling Trump rallies now.

Would have been funnier if it was Florida More South Dakota voters voted for marijuana than Krist Noem. Man when I lived there, it was like living in The Valley of Ashes from The Great Gatsby. No future other than to die in a barren wasteland carlquintanilla So true... carlquintanilla It's just BARELY an Onion headline... Bordering closer to Politifact giving it a 'Mostly True' rating!!

Satire is pretty hard to write when real life articles mimic the old Onion articles from 6+ years ago. BradleyWhitford I can't look directly into those eyes of evil. AdamParkhomenko This is pretty much S. Dakota. BradleyWhitford Wait... They're doing Sturgis AGAIN? AdamParkhomenko Yo wtf?! Oh wow, I've always wanted to go to South Dakota

They all look this way, right? Deer in the headlights dumb. Isn’t that why most people go to South Dakota already? Or am I thinking of North Dakota? carlquintanilla Dreadful Woman BradleyWhitford Cc SeanSJordan No daily calendars this year. I’m so sad. I’ll have to reuse a former year. Lol A+ story...when your 'satire' is actually the truth.

MaraWilson never before have i wanted to go to south dakota so much When to ND, all I got was this stupid coffin. No! They are literally driving over our border to go to a Minnesota hospitals,,many of them still denying they have COVID,,,you can’t make this shit up AdamParkhomenko I was speechless when I saw this video, narrated by Governor Kristi Noem. It promises visitors a safe visit to South Dakota. Talk about living in an alternate universe! I wouldn’t visit South Dakota if she paid me!

MaraWilson I hate it here please save me AdamParkhomenko Satire/reality mash up Already released in New York 6 months ago. Live view of SD . Or the Arizona governor dougducey model. She is dense ! You get your face on a rock! And you get your face on a rock! AdamParkhomenko 90% of news about covid and trump

AdamParkhomenko Did a double take on this one. KristiNoem govkristinoem SenatorRounds This isn't satire. It's just the truth right now. Sigh. It’s their god given right to kill everyone’s grandma. What are they expected to do, NOT head out to Salty’s Chowder House for the captain’s happy hour Oh I thought this was parody

Crazy Eyes! She’s a disaster she almost makes us Floridians contemplate moving to South Dakota Author votes Cuomo for Jesus award AdamParkhomenko Didn’t immediately notice that it was The Onion and I found this totally believable.