Vol 56 Issue 26, Food, Vegetarian, Dining, Alcohol

Vol 56 Issue 26, Food

So-Called Vegetarian Always Kills, Devours Chicken Whole Whenever She’s Drunk

So-Called Vegetarian Always Kills, Devours Chicken Whole Whenever She’s Drunk

7/2/2020 7:44:00 PM

So-Called Vegetarian Always Kills, Devours Chicken Whole Whenever She’s Drunk

DENVER—Expressing skepticism regarding Sarah Hastings’ holier-than-thou proclamations of support for animal rights and ethical eating, friends of the 23-year-old graduate student told reporters Thursday that the self-described “vegetarian,” in fact, kills and devours a chicken whole whenever she is drunk. “Sarah talks big about caring about animals, but after just a few beers, she’s catching a chicken, slitting its throat, and ripping it limb from limb with her teeth,” said close friend Aaron Wright, adding that he has heard enough of Hasting’s interminable lectures about the cruelty of factory farming and the environmental damage caused by meat consumption to smell hypocrisy when he saw her stumble from a bar with a pair of half-dead chickens struggling feebly in her hands. “I’ve seen the boxes of feathers and chicken entrails under her couch, but when I mention it, she just gives me a knowing look and grins at me through the chicken blood. Now, look, obviously I’m fine with that, nothing wrong with decapitating and eating chickens all day every day. It’s her hypocrisy that gets to me.” Hastings has also claimed that she was still meat-free despite taking a “cheat day” once a month to jump the fence at a nearby farm, use a bolt gun on the first cow she came across, and feast on the warm brains and marrow.\n

DENVER—Expressing skepticism regarding Sarah Hastings’ holier-than-thou proclamations of support for animal rights and ethical eating, friends of the 23-year-old graduate student told reporters Thursday that the self-described “vegetarian,” in fact, kills and devours a chicken whole whenever she is drunk. “Sarah talks big about caring about animals, but after just a few beers, she’s catching a chicken, slitting its throat, and ripping it limb from limb with her teeth,” said close friend Aaron Wright, adding that he has heard enough of Hasting’s interminable lectures about the cruelty of factory farming and the environmental damage caused by meat consumption to smell hypocrisy when he saw her stumble from a bar with a pair of half-dead chickens struggling feebly in her hands. “I’ve seen the boxes of feathers and chicken entrails under her couch, but when I mention it, she just gives me a knowing look and grins at me through the chicken blood. Now, look, obviously I’m fine with that, nothing wrong with decapitating and eating chickens all day every day. It’s her hypocrisy that gets to me.” Hastings has also claimed that she was still meat-free despite taking a “cheat day” once a month to jump the fence at a nearby farm, use a bolt gun on the first cow she came across, and feast on the warm brains and marrow.

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Literally me. Imagine being vegan. Like I understand being vegetarian, but vegan. Hell nah. Written by the owner of slaughter house? I have never met that kind of vegetarian you describe. You should see what Jordan Peterson does to kale after a few bong loads. Straight journalism now? What the hell--? cracktivities🤪✌️💖

Same Peta in a nutshell, wants to save animals, kills animals I get DUI's but I guess we all got dreams and different goals. Best to take her with a grain of 11 secret herbs and spices. consume The best joke I heard in 6 moths. AriannaTsikitas I don't eat pork or beef, but I got hella drunk in Nashville last year and woke up with 15 empty white castle boxes around me.

And continually eating off your plate Sandra. euanken She liked whole cock ScottPowell11 Interviewer to NFL legend Art Donovan: 'When is the last time you ate a vegetable?' Art: 'I had a chicken sandwich last week.' the solution for this is easy: a breathalyzer lock on the chicken coop. ShefVaidya 🤣🤣😂😂

That last line... 🤢 ... interesting choice of article to put out today if all days So much for the tolerant left *spits out feather* “oh my god Jessica last night was crazy.” Thanks for that. when that inner jaw comes out, all the chickens are scurred Did y’all get a hold on the NYT twitter account earlier?

Let me be the chicken please Lol Fascinating. We have bars that serve live chickens. Drunk and can’t think of anything better? She deserves feathers stuck in her throat. I thought I could trust them Damn werepollovegetarians. You can only kill them by putting colloidal silver in their Beyond Burgers. Raw (2016)

Well, maybe not the killing part, but I'm sure that there are vegetarians that 'let loose' when drunk. I don't eat meat from warmblooded animals for ethical/mental reasons, but if someone has other, more trendy reasons? We do tend to do stuff when drunk Social carnivores Vegetarian boy really likes brocolli, peanuts, and hurting people's feelings.

At least I'm not alone ...and despite being 'not bad' she stinks of cheap imported cigarettes... and has never washed her jeans... Faux_Denim classy Don't cluck at her about it. cc RobledoGerard Cattle are next You guys are so filthy I've seen strait men do the same thing when it comes to eating 'meat' after a couple of drinks ;)

euankennedy01 Raw? As long as you dip it in some bbq sauce first. Wow this could be an all timer by you guys. Fun fact: if you are a vegetarian, don't eat figs. Because they contain dead wasps. Actually don't do it even if you are regular human 🤣 You surely mean vegan. hungry hungry hypocrite! PretentiousChik m00d

Chick fill ale. Her tummy feels so bad the next morning...The toxins so many cock and gobble jokes, but perhaps later

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