Be Best, Melania Trump, Dare, Smizing, The Slot

Be Best, Melania Trump

Smize Your Way to Sober Living With Melania

Smize your way to sober living with Melania

10/1/2020 11:43:00 PM

Smize your way to sober living with Melania

As someone who graduated DARE with only a cool t-shirt and a starter list of drugs that sounded fun to show for my drug prevention education, I had long assumed I was impervious to anti-drug messaging. Or, worse still, destined to have an adverse reaction to it that causes an even stronger craving for edibles. But I now know that I simply wasn’t provided the right message. Now that I’ve seen Melania Trump ’s Be Best By Doing Sobriety PSA, I see that all I needed in the fifth grade to be all set for a life of sobriety was to hear that drugs are bad from the motionless left half of someone’s face while two eyes, glinting like melting glaciers, bored into to my soul. Because why would I bother searching out chemical highs when I could just pummel my brain into a state of awed submission by watching this over and over.\n

)As someone who graduated DARE with only a cool t-shirt and a starter list of drugs that sounded fun to show for my drug prevention education, I had long assumed I was impervious to anti-drug messaging. Or, worse still, destined to have an adverse reaction to it that causes an even stronger craving for edibles. But I now know that I simply wasn’t provided the right message. Now that I’ve seen Melania Trump’s Be Best By Doing Sobriety PSA, I see that all I

At least two in Pence's orbit test positive for Covid-19 Pence chief of staff Marc Short tests positive for coronavirus Samsung chairman Lee Kun-hee dies after long illness

needed in the fifth grade to be all set for a life of sobriety was to hear that drugs are bad from the motionless left half of someone’s face while two eyes, glinting like melting glaciers, bored into to my soul. Because why would I bother searching out chemical highs when I could just pummel my brain into a state of awed submission by watching this over and over.

AdvertisementListening to Melania Trump claim that her Be Best initiative was somehow about drugs this whole time (wasn’t it about cyberbullying at some point or was that a hallucination?) as I simultaneously watch her smizing eyeballs darting across a teleprompter message she is perhaps seeing for the first time captures the same uncanny valley feeling as ingesting a hallucinogen an hour before listening to

Dark Side of the Moonin a planetarium.AdvertisementMy ears can hear her robotically dulcet voice making the words, “The goal of Be Best is to encourage children to practice healthy habits.” And my eyes can see her frosted mouth moving while the rest of her face, neck, hair, and upper torso remains statuary, presenting only a waning crescent sliver of her body to the ring light like a projection that seems unsettlingly both corporeal and artificial. But it’s the colorful, lightning-quick misfirings my brain produces in an effort to connect the sound to the image that fuels the real feel of a genuine trip. And then, much like those youthful planetarium adventures, I

suddenly loseinterest in the white man’s voice (this time it’s someone from the White House Office of Drug Control Policy) as my brain, untethered from the physical world, just drifts for a while before finally orienting myself on the ever-fixed mark of Melania’s single cheekbone and unwavering smize, at once hypnotized and hypnotic, as the disconnected voice tells us she will be doing this once a week for the next month. I will fiendishly await the microdoses.

Read more: Jezebel »

Biden's ABC town hall live updates: Former VP faces voters in Philadelphia

With less than three weeks to Election Day, Democratic nominee Joe Biden will face voters directly in an ABC News Town Hall in Philadelphia Thursday night.

Be Broke Is it a model thing that she is sideways to the camera? Kinda creepy. 😂😂😂

Editorial: Trump’s bullying was an insult to the American peopleAny voter who watched Tuesday’s sad excuse for a debate had to conclude that Trump is a disaster and Joe Biden is the steady and sober leader we need. opinion Yes, calling Biden racist and a clown...oh Wait! 🤣🤣🤣 opinion He said multiple miss truths tonight. One of them was that the Portland sheriff endorse Donald Trump. That is not factual and a untrue. I hope you come up with more about his taxes opinion We disagree with the editor. We believe Biden was lying about trump's accomplishments

Take it from author Jodi Picoult: Don’t worry about what you should be, just bePicoult's latest novel, 'The Book of Two Ways,' takes a closer look at just that: how people are navigating their lives to achieve happiness.

Trump supporters criticize Melania, Ivanka, Tiffany and Lara for wearing masks in presidential debate photoAlthough none of the Trump women were seen wearing face coverings during Tuesday's first presidential debate, they are pictured with masks in a photo from the event on Instagram. Fools. Of all the alarming things he said last night: - He refused to condemn white nationalists - He issued a dog whistle to bigots. - He refused to concede power if he lost - He disparaged Beau Biden’s service - He intentionally cast doubt on election integrity They choose masks! They don’t know where any of the people have been.

White House staffers cheer on South Lawn as Trump departs for presidential debateA crowd stood behind a white rope cheering and waving with flags as the president and first lady Melania Trump walked by. “Yay! He’s leaving!!' 'The only people who hire all their kids are the mafia, dictators & Donald Trump.' Biden2020. Make this billboard happen

30 Creative and Funny Ways to Tell Your Husband You're PregnantEver thought of how to tell your husband you're pregnant? Luckily these ideas we have are so creative and fun that he'll never forget this day!

Pregnancy, Parenting, Lifestyle, Beauty: Tips & Advice | mom.com