CHICAGO—Imagining all the ways she could accidentally injure herself without being able to call for help, local single woman Billie Gorman reportedly wondered aloud Tuesday how long she could lie dead in her apartment before anyone bothered to come by and eat her face.
“It’s a very real possibility I could be here rotting for days before a person stopped in and carved up my remains, peeling the flesh from my head as they engaged in a depraved, ritualistic feast,” said Gorman, who has lived alone since splitting up with her last serious partner five years ago and recently decided she should get to know her neighbors in case, God forbid, something terrible happened and by the time someone smelled her decaying corpse it was no longer appetizing. “It’s hard.
Not long. They all have dogs.
I think you are not alone in that concern. Many times I’ve thought the same and I’m pretty sure living alone persons all have that worry at times.
That’s why she needs a cat.
Fake News: No one can afford an apartment alone anymore.
It's fresh face, or no face at all.
Claws, to live in the 🌊 ocean. Small body... :( The sea was supposed to be a safe beautiful place to live.
In a perfectly decorated living room…
Many of us have the very same worry. I paid a young man a large sum of money to call me daily. It didn't last long. There is no help for us. Pat
Get yourself a pit bull.
At first, this was dark. And then it got darker. Just like this mole on my inner thigh.
Don’t worry if she has pets they can take care of that pretty quick.
This is an Aesop Rock song
I'm hoping my pet hyenas will devour my body.
Dime differs for different pet owners
A genuine concern for some of us
I live in a rural area. My loved ones will have to watch for vultures.
PrincessHallee
About 2.5 months
In Layne Staley's case (he died twenty years ago today - April 5th, just like Kurt Cobain), it was two weeks.
🤔
A month?
It's thoughts like these that leads to spinster cat ladies.
Does she have a cat?
Is it just me, or is The Onion not hitting like it used to
Same. Should get a cat. That’ll do it.
Best I could hope for would probably be 2 weeks.
Felt sure my cat would do it for me, but she’s gone
Oh my god that's me
It's she's not even going to bother becoming morbidly obese, then why would anyone waste their time eating those paper-thin cheeks?
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