like an owl holding the underwear of your partner’s tennis instructor in its beak.They’re Cast In The Film Mr. & Mrs. Smithyou’ll do anything possible to keep your partner from being cast in this 2005 action-Their Penis Falls Off Due To Overuse
If your SO’s genitals slide straight off of their groin, there’s a chance it’s because it withered up and died from too much activity between you and their extramarital lover.Stops Charging Their Sex Robot On The Bedside Table If your partner stops charging their sex robot next to you, then it’s probably because they’re probably both having sex with someone else.And you’re just supposed to believe they have no idea how that got there?Much like MLK, if the Federal Bureau of Investigation contacts you and plays you a recording of your partner speaking with a secret lover, then your days together could numbered.List slidesCould be a dead giveaway.
Half the room faints when you announce your partner has a highly contagious deadly disease.( then you get to giggle - a lot.)
Your cell phone. Did you bring it? Which one? bb213
The onion could never
I laughed so hard I cried
“Official” Gotta love it!
Cheating. It’s about being an empath. Hypersensitive mirror neurons. Somehow there’s no serious research on the topic. Or at least I don’t know.
Nice “Official” tag you got there.
There’s no two probablys about it.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
How many times does a sentient robot masturbate a day?
ckeck your robo for dna
Babe, I thought it was OUR sex robot.
Why she sniffin her hand for?
Looking for urgent flight? Book a flight ticket android anywhere anytime flight lastminute ticket
This new Onion direction is kinda lame
That their genitals don't belong to them? But, from someone else's loan?
They can't look you in the eye for too long... bam!
As long as it is fingerprint enabled, then it's ok.
𝖨 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗆𝖺𝖽𝖾 $21,𝟧𝟢𝟢 𝗂𝗇 2weeks 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗋𝖺𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝗂𝗍’𝗌 𝗎𝗇𝖻𝖾𝗅𝗂𝖾𝗏𝖺𝖻𝗅𝖾! 𝖠𝗅𝗅 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝖬𝗋 Caldwellsteve8 𝗂’𝗆 𝗀𝗋𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖿𝗎𝗅, 𝖨’𝗅𝗅 𝗄𝖾𝖾𝗉 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝖿𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗀𝗈𝗈𝖽𝗇𝖾𝗌𝗌.
Password is 6969
Well it would be more of a public part than a private part if you took it off wouldn't it?
Password = password. lowercase p of course
The only real way to tell is if his penis drops off from overuse.
I actually know someone like this. An old female friend. Caught him cheating on her multiple times, LITERALLY in the act of having sex with another woman in THEIR bed TWICE with two different women. She's still with the idiot to this day from what I know. I kinda gave up on her
Invited to a taping of Maury 😹😹😹
You would think he was the guilty party in this one wouldn't you
Don’t be paranoid, Onion. She didn’t cheat, ok!?
Bath test never lies
Also, trust your Institution, the one where you've hoped to send your significant other if they cheated...
You ok baby?
Hahahahahaha
The MLK line lol
Tracker and Divorce cosplay😭😭💀💀
The finest source of news.
“Out Of Cum” 😂
I agree 😷
I love ur mind
CateSJewels
FYI marilynmanson
She laughs if you say 'bawk bawk boom'
1: Their picture features in a Twitter post entitled 'Signs Your Significant Other Might Be Cheating On You'
In truth he had never questioned why she had six contacts that were all some variation of 'daddy.' He suspected they were all her dad getting new phones. he realized the truth when he recognized his dad's cell number
Um, a giveaway is when they call you by the wrong name. Yikes!
🤣🤣🤣
'Have you ever thought about a threesome?'
Picture is more like 'why do my fingers smell like ass?'
iddqd
She asks you to sleep on the couch so Tyler can have your spot.
It simple, go with your gut feeling.
Thanks onion very informative and I was able to determine I was cheating on my partner
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Source: Variety - 🏆 108. / 63 Read more »
Source: Variety - 🏆 108. / 63 Read more »
Source: Food52 - 🏆 113. / 63 Read more »
Source: Variety - 🏆 108. / 63 Read more »
Source: THR - 🏆 411. / 53 Read more »
Source: StyleCaster - 🏆 104. / 63 Read more »