Should You Date Your Mirror Image or Do Opposites Attract?

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Research shows you're more likely to be with someone who's similar to you. But which similarities matter most? DrCollisson explains.

In fact, psychology researchers, R. Matthew Montoya, Robert Horton, and Jeffrey Kirchner conducted a meta-analysis of every study they could find that assessed the degree to which two people were similar to each other and how much they liked one another. They concluded that when meeting someone for the first time, or knowing them a short while, how similar someone else was predicted how much they were liked.

But what about newlyweds? If the goal is to find someone to eventually marry, what types of similarities should you look for in a potential partner?Psychologists David Watson, Eva Klohnen, Alex Casillas, Ericka Nus Simms, and Jeffrey Haig answered this question by recruiting a large sample of newlywed couples from eastern Iowa who had been married for about 5 months on average.

and avoidance couples tend to feel in their relationship. Values refer to how important people think things like family life, equality, ambition, and wealth are. And intelligence generally refers to people’s problem-solving ability and vocabulary.Source: Daria Shevtsova/Pexels The findings revealed that newlyweds were matched on some traits much more closely than others. For instance, newlyweds tended to be very similar in age, religious attitudes, and political orientation. But they were only moderately similar in education, vocabulary, and intelligence and only slightly similar in personality, emotionality, and attachment style.

The researchers accounted for how long the couples had been together, so it was unlikely that couples became similar over time. Instead, it was more likely that they chose to date someone similar to themselves, especially in regard to age, religion, andSo, the next time you’re scrolling through potential dates, remember the importance of similarity. It’s not vain to date your mirror image when it’s backed by research.Montoya, R. M., Horton, R. S., & Kirchner, J. .

 

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