Seeking a world without women, Tabitha Lasley lost herself — and found a better book

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Journalist Tabitha Lasley went to Scotland to investigate the world of oil riggers and slept with her first source. 'Sea State' is her raw memoir of the aftermath.

Lisa Taddeo, whose book “Three Women” broke the mold of immersive journalism, talks about her first novel, “Animal,” and the struggle to write and live.

During her travels, one particular sign wouldn’t let Lasley go. When she was 25, she’d crossed paths with a couple of sailors on shore leave. They became friends, and their stories proved so interesting that she promised herself she would one day write a book about their lifestyle. Their relationship was fast and furious. They met up at odd hours to have sex in hotel rooms and spent hours texting on WhatsApp when he was at work. Lasley and the rigger had met up only six times, she says, before he told her he was going to leave his wife for her. In retrospect, she can see why the “meager proffer” of being with a married man appealed to her.

“And when I looked up at the clock, I was like, ‘F—-: I’ve written 2,000 words,’” she recalls. “I was like, ‘OK. This is it. This is the book.’” “Most people are garbage at being interviewed,” she says now. “When I spoke to the men, I was like: ‘This is boring,’” she adds with a slight smile. “They’ve had really interesting things happen to them but they can’t seem to tell it in interesting ways. That’s why I put more of myself in there, because I was like, ‘This is more interesting.’”The “American Beauty” star discusses her memoir, “The Great Peace,” and the abuse and shame she endured while seeming “too special to have problems.

That was Caden’s camp, with a “stylized masculinity and peacocking that you would more associate with a woman.” His day rate was around £700 — close to $1,000 — which Lasley says he spent on flashy things like a Range Rover and an expansive sneaker collection. For a while, his salary also caused Lasley to resent Caden’s wife, a homemaker who took care of the couple’s children.

 

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