Secret Service Adds Emotional Protection Division To Safeguard Trump’s Psyche

The new unit’s three dozen agents, who have undergone rigorous training to prepare for their challenging role, will be charged with defending the 45th president’s psychological well-being around the clock, investigating foreign and domestic threats to his self-esteem and quickly intercepting any spoken or written criticisms before they can harm his pride.

“All of our agents stand ready to lay down their lives to ensure nothing can hurt President Trump’s feelings.” “All of our agents stand ready to lay down their lives to ensure nothing can hurt President Trump’s feelings,” he added. According to officials, the Secret Service is reportedly conducting careful background checks on White House visitors to look for any red flags, such as A-list celebrities who might choose to decline a photo op with Trump.

I think the Onion staff and other Leftists would need that for their feelings.

Nancy probably has them protecting her liquor cabinet.

They shoulda created one for the all those sanctuary cities. 🤫

SovietSergey

You know this just might be true, Onion. 🙃

I thought Psyche was the human that tried to stab one of the gods?

Probably not far from the truth

why? they let jfk get killed

That's funny. I was initially skeptical to believe such a quest until I remembered who Trump is.

wouldn't it be easier to just impeach him?

Just imagine what trump's safe space looks like.

Careful it’s fragile

I mean,when in Rome?If my entire POTUSwas obviousBULLSH&T (Nobody ever asked,why, I, is the censored letter for curse words?), yeah,Id be upset too,thank non existent God it doesnt (DISCLAIMER:God doesnt exist,if humans dont agree,sounds mean words,1st),soundsdont='sacred spirit'

Call them Emotion Force!

So that’s gonna cost tax payers.... what? .... anothe 4 trillion or so?

By congress...

what psyche?

Pretty sure that’s been around since he started crying during the Axios interview.

. 'Man, this Area Facebook user must be incredibly stupid -made the top skin theonion ' (truth) Note: I took screenshots of my brother's and others public Facebook years past - & other public profiles (& retook yesterday) Not been on Facebook since 2017. Other = the criminals

Supposed to be satire Onion......SATIRE

The Onion showing they are no Babylon Bee. Keep trying.

3 dozen men for 1 half brain idiot. That sounds expensive. Can’t they just tell him he has a beautiful head of hair when he’s feeling down? AnybodyButTrump2020

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The Onion has TDS.

Snowflake ❄️

wasilalitaha واصل الله يهديك ديل قناة كوميديا 😂

Savage

CODENAME: Bald Ego

Could you imagine if he got banned of twitter.

Implying they haven't already

LMAO I swear I had to do a double take and make sure it was you. Scary times.

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