Science, Vol 54 Issue 37

Science, Vol 54 Issue 37

Scientists Announce They’ve Completed Mapping The Human G-Spot

Archivists Discover Unpublished Michael Crichton Manuscript About Amusement Park That Operates Without A Hitch

4/10/2020 3:44:00 AM

Archivists Discover Unpublished Michael Crichton Manuscript About Amusement Park That Operates Without A Hitch

PASADENA, CA—In a development hailed by leading sexual behaviorists as a “giant leap forward” in the field of erotomolecular biology, imaging scientists at the California Institute of Technology announced Friday they have completed the decades-long project of mapping the human G-spot. “Today, we have finally catalogued, categorized, and compiled the location and dimensions of the human G-spot—the first step in harnessing its awesome and hitherto untapped power,” said lead researcher Winston Andrews, adding that the results of the project would soon be made available online so that all of humanity might gaze with wonder upon the elegant framework underlying their own erogenous zones. “Some might say we are playing God, and that some mysteries were never meant to be uncovered. However, we believe that the Human G-Spot Project will help demonstrate our shared humanity. It doesn’t matter if you’re brown or white, man or woman—our G-spots are all 99.9 percent alike. We even share 96 percent of our G-spots with chimpanzees.” Andrews expressed his eternal gratitude to the thousands of scientists worldwide who had volunteered their time and bodies to ensure the project’s success.

Read more: The Onion »

Big if true Still without asking for directions Wait a minute. How many women are there on that panel? 😄 Will they also be deploying a task force with the online roll-out? I’ve been talking to IT and they tell me to turn it off and then back on. Good news, everyone! Lies But they lost the map? It's definitely not that big.

Hey, you probably won’t read this but can you tell people about Elon Musk and Neurolink? He follows you and everyone thinks this is a joke. I think it would be history’s funniest joke if you posted information about it and everyone thought you were crazy. It's in my wallet. Elusive! Directions included ... tireless work by our american hero's

Finally scientists will be able to reproduce! We definitely need more of those right now! 'The scientists involved in the G-Spot study have all been studying 'taking an L' as their life's work. They all conclude that this finding is significant.' These guys are late. Men have known this for years! Gotta love The Onion. Thought this was a real headline until I remembered the g spot isn't real. My gf and her lover have both assured me of this fact

Lies Lady to the right: You still can't read a map though George. FakeNews the G-Spot is like bigfoot and the loch ness monster. They exist; but, no men can find them. Probably in need of a Ms. (Dr.) Livingston moment. Lol Even with a map it's always best to ask for directions. A guy could get in lost out there.

Thanks, needed this humor today. It's on Mars. I knew it. 😂 That’ll be the day proof? 😂😂 This would work better if you didn’t have a woman in the picture. Finally, some news we can use Aaron Motswaleni looking stoked about this this is the kind of science we need Finally some good news! now I can use this information with the girlfriend I don't have!

And it is surrounded by F and H spots Aren't you pleased they have their priorities in order. The helicopter gained speed as it headed toward the mainland. It was cold now, and the soldiers muscled the door closed. As they did, Grant looked back just once, and saw the island, it had been a lovely weekend.

Without A Hitch? That would be unbelievable. “Some might say we are playing God, and that some mysteries were never meant to be uncovered. However, we believe that the Human G-Spot Project will help Yeah, and the dumb ass Bill Gates said, the economy will not he the way it was🤣 Bullshit story. This is too ridiculous

HEY, MITCH.. aka MITCH no-hitch Jackson made it all possible.. what a disgrace ( this is a different hitch.. but i guess maybe not ) I guess nobody clicks these links... this one leads to 'Scientists Announce They’ve Completed Mapping The Human G-Spot' “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.”

When’s the movie coming out? 😔😔😔 Sounds awesome! That's the sort of fiction we all need nowadays. Bestworld

John Prine, Who Chronicled the Human Condition in Song, Dies at 73Breaking News: John Prine, the folk singer and songwriter with a raspy voice and ingenious lyrics, died at 73 from complications of the coronavirus Hello in there, hello... RIP ❤️ 😢🙏❤️ Thanks Trump.

Novavax to start human trial for novel coronavirus vaccineNovavax Inc said on Wednesday it had identified a novel coronavirus vaccine candidate and would start human trials in mid-May. smart people to the rescue It will be nice icon Good news! Hope to hear something good come out of this

The Human Toll: The Artists Who Have Died From CoronavirusRemembering Terrence McNally, Maria Mercader, and more performers, musicians, and well-known names taken by COVID-19.

More Coronavirus Vaccines and Treatments Move Toward Human TrialsJust three months after the start of the coronavirus pandemic, several biotech companies are beginning trials of promising vaccines and treatments. Would not have happened without Trump. For protection against Corona, Hindus in India use cow refuse. They eat cow shit and drink cow urine as much as possible. For prevention, they take bath in cow dung. God help us. IndiaFightsCorona

WHO officials are investigating human transmission of the coronavirus to pets'There are several groups that are conducting investigations in animals to really understand how pets are infected,' WHO's Dr. Maria Van Kerkhove said. Ok I’m extremely worried about my dog too now. WHO requires dog masks. whofail Yes !!

Human impact on biodiversity loss may fuel future pandemicsAs the war against COVID-19 brings entire countries to a screeching halt, the planet is beginning to see a glimpse into a world without the damaging effects of daily human impact. And that glimpse is startling. MSM: 'It's awful how many people are dying of Covid-19, but, also, kinda not?' We have to care for each other and the planet that we share environmental And Trump and Republicans want to burn the whole damn thing down.