Report: Today Not One You Will Remember

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YOUR LOCATION—Noting the complete lack of memorable details to help the date stick in your mind, sources confirmed Monday that today isn’t one you’re going to remember. “We’ve found that this 24-hour period will make zero impression on you in the long run,” said sources, adding that the current day would be neither good nor bad, but simply a completely unremarkable period of time that will have no bearing on your life. “We’ve found that there will be no high highs or low lows, no big inconveniences or excitements—basically you’ll just eat a couple meals, tool around the internet, go to bed, and never think about this day again.” At press time, sources noted that the words in this article were already beginning to fade from your memory. \n

YOUR LOCATION—Noting the complete lack of memorable details to help the date stick in your mind, sources confirmed Monday that today isn’t one you’re going to remember.

“We’ve found that this 24-hour period will make zero impression on you in the long run,” said sources, adding that the current day would be neither good nor bad, but simply a completely unremarkable period of time that will have no bearing on your life. “We’ve found that there will be no high highs or low lows, no big inconveniences or excitements—basically you’ll just eat a couple meals, tool around the internet, go to bed, and never think about this day again.

 

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好看😊

I believe it

thank fucking god

Today's Bat Signal

Hopefully

Oh good, then I can do whatever I want

Based on this article's title. Some spoiled brat hated their present.

Today's my birthday but you're right lol.

😭

Agreed. Boring day with no mass shootings.

Nice picture though!

Wrong

Tbf lots of big news happened today

I'm sure that'll work with your significant other if you forgot about your anniversary

Pretty sure I wont remember tomorrow or the day after as well!

Sometimes it's good to have a day like this. Time seems to stretch indefinitely, even if it's filled with nothingness. It's restful. The problem is when all days start looking like this. Damn you, pandemic! *raises fist to the sky*

nah i got a 2nd penis grafted to my body today

Unless the zags win the natty

thanks to weed, that's every day😌😇

Wrong, it’s my birthday!

Tru

F....

Stories, losers!

They’re right. Can’t find a single thing in this image to tweet my discontent about

Good news is no news

Written by Joe biden

Report: pretty much true for every single day, also

Next thing you know it is

True

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