Report: Only 260,000 More Games Of ‘Candy Crush’ Until You Die

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'Hey Ma, The Onion's talking about you!'

That’s one hell of a kill screen

One of my favorite to play😍candy🥰

Just like healthcare, the more you spend, the longer it lasts.

I never play the game! I am immortal!!!

The beloved character ALF died today near Simi Valley . As he was accustomed, he was surrounded by prostitutes and cocaine while playing candy crush for 52 hours straight . He had no fixed address , and no family has come forward .

'How many did we win?' --Tony

Oh come on! I’ve got to be at under 200,000 by now! This frustrates me!

mcchow46 mom

Ha that’s what you think. Topping myself tomorrow.

Hey, thanks for the heads up! 😂

It’s available in Heaven if you’re going there and can enjoy it in perpetuity.

Wait wait, one more level. I'm sure i'll beat it then!!

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