Report: No One Got Covid And It Was One Hell Of A Party You Missed

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MIAMI—Following a spectacular night that your completely uninfected friends will be talking about for years to come, a new report out this weekend confirmed that no one got Covid and you missed out on one hell of a party, my friend. According to the detailed and comprehensive report, 100% of the partygoers remained…

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MIAMI—Following a spectacular night that your completely uninfected friends will be talking about for years to come, a new report out this weekend confirmed that no one got Covid and you missed out on one hell of a party, my friend.

According to the detailed and comprehensive report, 100% of the partygoers remained perfectly healthy, and they all had a blast reconnecting with old friends and making new ones while you sat at home alone, watching reruns of shows you didn’t even enjoy much the first time around.

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For the hypochondriac all this omnicrominone is ruining their mass hysteria high.

SantoMista

The kid turned 8 and all the parents drank White Claw until our eyes crossed. And it was a great football game.

Report: Man who stayed home pissed none at party got Covid

That's ridiculous. Parties are terrible. ALL of them.

johnbiggs Party goers seemed rather stiff when interviewed

No one got Covid … that we know of

Sadly, these people also didn't know how to properly do an at-home test either

It’s not widely known or reported but you can get Covid from farts. Fact.

CC BorisJohnson JK you didn’t miss it

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