WASHINGTON—A shocking report released Monday by the Internal Revenue Service revealed that more than 65 percent of the money donated at churches across the world never reaches God.
"Unfortunately, almost half of all collections go toward administrative expenses such as management, utilities, and clerical costs," said Virginia Raeburn, a spokesperson for the Lord Almighty, adding that another 25 percent of heavenly funding is needed just to cover payroll for the angelic hierarchy. "People always assume God is filthy rich, but they'd be surprised to learn His net worth is only around $8 million—and most of that is tied up in real estate.
I throw my money in the air and what doesn’t come down belongs to God
Well God damn
🤣🤣🤣🤣best believe dat
Heyyyy I thought this account was based on satire
And he's been running up that credit card again 🙄
Billy Graham. 👌🏼
Not surprising really, what use would an omnipresent being have for hard currency?😏
Cha Ching 🤑
I think it's to fund a magic mushroom grow op!
😂😂
God doesn’t need money….
wat
Majority?
Yeah bc God only accepts Bitcoin
Panhandling rule 1: Don't talk about panhandling
Well I was donated for the people
Amen!
🤣🤣🤣
paulogia0 To be fair, the pastors offer God to keep whatever it needs. They only live luxuriously off the rest...
paulogia0 I demand an audit!
All money is God's money, so it logically follows that all money spent is God's will. I don't care if it's not cheat day this Snickers was rendered unto me by he who is called 'I AM'!
🤣
God is just another con.
Shipping costs are a bitch.
Why do you think he is always wearing those raggedly robes.. 😒
Deus ex machina..?
AnChVIE whaaat?
Religion: the greatest bullshit story ever told.
paulogia0 if this wasn't the onion i'd believe it
When I was a kid, I once took money out of the donation pot bc it was my first time being there for the passing of the donation pot (no longer in Sunday school) & apparently I didn't notice people putting money into the pot. I thought it was money we could all just, like, have.
Brothers and sisters, let’s not sarcastically banter our way out of relationships with one another. Let’s keep humor funny and sin mournful. May we steward our humor by the grace of God and keep our sarcasm from masking unholy heart attitudes.
Perhaps, God is happy if it goes to the pockets of God's self-proclaimed agent.
Huh. You don’t say.
Makes it to the pockets of JoelOsteen. 🤣
He may be all-powerful and all-knowing but he just can't handle money.
Well, the pastor needs a personal jet to get that money to thegoodgodabove - how else is Joel Osteen and his buddies are supposed to get the money to him? Their many luxury cars? Don’t be silly.
Lord, please let me take, not give.
Of course not it goes into the church electric bill. The bill to keep the building up and running in good shape and for the events the church itself puts on
I mean, 100% is technically a majority.
That's why the pastor drives a C63 AMG.
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