Relationship Experts Say Mailing Body Part To Ex On Valentine’s Day Only Way To Win Them Back
BOSTON—Claiming that the simple but thoughtful act was an excellent way to rekindle lost love, relationship experts confirmed Wednesday that mailing a body part to an ex on Valentine’s Day was the only way to win them back. “Our research revealed that anyone hoping to successfully reignite an old flame should lop off an extremity and ship it first-class to a former lover,” said sociologist Dr. Margot Durlauf, who recommended artfully arranging ears or fingers in a romantic collage rather than just hacking them off and carelessly dumping the bloody parts into a package. “Even just a little toe can go a long way to convincing the one that got away that you’ve been thinking about them and want them back in your life. Many couples who reunited claimed that receiving a severed hand immediately brought the couple back together and made their relationship stronger than ever before.” Durlauf added that giving a personal detached limb had a higher likelihood of successfully wooing a past sweetheart than just simply buying one.Advertisement Read more: The Onion
Alternatively, turn up outside their home at 4am with as much noise as possible. She will LOVE it. I did too. Band of Hair Is Fine I Think No Pain Even When No Gain NewYorker cbs cbc wsj bbcworld dna ndtv fox cnni Let faintedsad see this jjjinvesting This is The Onion trying to compete with the ridiculous and outrageous BS coming out of the White House.
'Controversial decision to rename valentines day to national dick pic day popular among nations male teenage population ' This is how hard needs to work these days to come up with something that doesn't read like it was ripped from the nytimes. Reality has met surreality and, bad news, they are mutually soluble.
Do you think s/he will notice that this is the fifth eye I’ve mailed this month? ahh, but does it have to be your own? Which part? Show 'em you care Does it have to be your own body part?
Gigi Hadid Confirms Relationship with Zayn Malik Is Back on with Sweet Valentine's Day PhotoThe couple previously sparked dating rumors after being spotted walking arm-in-arm in New York City last month Complete report for the first time in history the press is united on a single idea against my life.
Does it have to be your body part? Or her body part? Or a random bodies’ body part? This sounds too crazy to even read Does it have to be your own? 'Relationship Experts': Relationship goals. Does it have to be your own body part or can it be someone else's? Best Valentine's gift ever. ...hey, it worked for Van Gogh... didn't it?...
I've had body parts mailed to my office. As a receiver of such a package, I wouldn't recommend this tactic.
Most romantic things to do for Valentine's Day in London Valentine's Day things to do in London: from candlelit dinners and fresh oysters to cocktails in Covent Garden and afternoon tea at London Hilton, see the most romantic ways to celebrate Valentine's... Thank you so much for including MakeAWishUK in this x
Hint: Toenails. Why would I give that back to her? I did 5 years of upstate for it. You gotta hand it to me, I take love very seriously... I prefer sending a slice of my gooch. ✅
Gigi Hadid Confirms Her Relationship Status with Zayn MalikGigi Hadid and Zayn Malik's relationship is now Instagram official. See how the model confirmed that their love is back on here. Now this the tea hunni Who hasn’t she dated lol You're one of the cutest couples!
7 Reasons We Love Wine7 reasons we love wine: Our wine columnist counts the ways in a Valentine to her favorite beverage Looks like a stick figure with a red ass. If you like wine, drink water...... Some of the worst hangovers I’ve ever had were because I got to geeked on wine...... 😏 🤓 We all love wine because we all will drown our sorrows and pains of singledom on valentine's Day when all this built-up emotion will finally break the dam triggered by the view of flowers, chocolate and people enjoying themselves.
The best romantic movies on Netflix this Valentine's Day Valentine's Day is upon us, and there are plenty of ways to 'Netflix and Chill' thanks to a whole host of romantic movies for all tastes available on the streaming service. Bad Santa
5 ways to celebrate Valentine's Day as a queer person and feel good about it - Business InsiderThe commercialization of Valentine's Day over the last several decades has continually focused on straight couples and their relationships.