Reddit Helped Me Heal From a Painful 20-Year Journey With My Cleft Palate

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What it was like to finally find my community as an adult.

, they look at my now flawless grin with awe and say, "Wow, I would have never known." I laugh politely every time and flash my four veneers, two implants, and mouth full of scars.

You would have known if you’d seen me wince when my dad cranked my palate expander every morning in second grade or when I’d fall into my mother’s arms after the bullying got bad in seventh grade. You would have known after seeing me in my Volkswagen Passat pulled onto the side of the road in twelfth grade, my body hung over the steering wheel as I mourned the loss of my second failed implant attempt. It would be another six months before we could try again.

That was not the last time I would cry about my facial deformity — the physical battle had been fought, but the mental conflict was about to get bloodier than I ever imagined. Six years later, I stumbled upon a group on Reddit for people born with a cleft lip and/or palate. Pages upon pages of others’ painful cleft surgery experiences slapped me right in the face, and I immediately called up my parents with rage in my voice.

 

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