Recovering Alcoholic Pissed He Hit Rock Bottom Before Craft Beer Boom

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NEWPORT, RI—Regretting that he never got a chance to sample even a single imperial stout during his years abusing alcohol, recovering alcoholic Scott Rimer expressed bitterness Monday that he had the misfortune to reach the lowest point of his life before the craft beer boom. “Goddammit. I can’t believe I hopelessly…

NEWPORT, RI—Regretting that he never got a chance to sample even a single imperial stout during his years abusing alcohol, recovering alcoholic Scott Rimer expressed bitterness Monday that he had the misfortune to reach the lowest point of his life before the craft beer boom. “Goddammit.

I can’t believe I hopelessly bottomed out and made the difficult decision to clean up my act just months before small, dedicated breweries started gaining real traction,” said Rimer, who confessed to feeling that his entire time as a drunk was squandered pounding Pabst Blue Ribbon and Bud Light when he could have delayed sobriety a bit longer and enjoyed a wide variety of hoppy India pale ales for a while. “I wasted years of my life drinking Schlitz in shady run-down dives.

 

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Damn this hurts lol

Wagons were meant to be jumped off of.

No area man alcoholic ever said that.

Cruel irony.

'A recovering alcoholic is feeling left out after realizing he hit rock bottom before the craft beer boom. 😂 He's now trying to figure out if it's considered a relapse if he drinks a IPA made with locally sourced hops. CraftBeer RecoveringAlcoholic RockBottom'

my childhood best friend's mom was/is a recovered alcoholic & addict who hit deep rock bottom & she talked about how zima came out after she got sober really wanted to try zima

🤣

I have been sober a long time. I once heard a guy whining that he never got to drink Zima. All I could think was WTF.

Sober 5 years, never has a White Claw. Bullet dodged? Opportunity missed? I’ll never know

Good… saves you from a man bun, checked shirt, tight jeans with cuffs, and boots…

That's my story except it was before cider got all exciting and fruit flavoured 😕🙄

me!!

That would be tragic

Funny I think the exact opposite

He didn't miss out on much.

I can think of a pretty delicious way for him to celebrate his recovering alcoholism. 🍻 🍺

A new rock bottom is achievable if he puts his mind to it

LMAO

Honestly true

But after Budweiser's success at killing world beer imports.

Just go back to being an alcoholic then. Problem MY ASS.

i really like this.

Sad, but he could concentrate on the craft distillery boom currently underway!

Yeah but IPA beer just makes you fat do you didn't miss much

Not actually missing that much

All he missed out on was beer three times the price that other people tried to convince you tastes good.

Thank God I'm still on the way down

“My people…”

Yes I am!

I’m grateful I quit before the fentanyl boom.

lol..

Getting sober at 22 then moving to a real city 😭

Being into different types of IPAs is really just a not so clever way to conceal your burgeoning alcoholism lol

hahahah

Hate when that happens.

10 years sober and thank God I never had to learn anything about craft beers, or watch a person I previously liked order a 'hard' seltzer.

The story of life, told yet again by someone telling a story about life. Alas, will we survive? Wow, look at those boobies!

This is a lot funnier to me as an alcoholic who really liked using craft beer as a way to turn my addiction as a hobby

thank fuck i only binge drank & was never actually an alcoholic. I didnt need it. I just wanted to get fucked up so I didnt have to deal with reality at the moment. Still, 3 years no booze, perfectly content, but absinthe is still on my bucket list 3 i wanna see the green fairy

Elijah Wood really let himself go

Ok, I loved craft beer and it contributed to my cirrhosis and liver transplant, but this is still funny as heck. Good job , keep making me laugh.

I feel this in my soul

He's not missing anything

A rare miss.

He’s better off being a weed snob. Beer snobs are the worst

As a recovering alcoholic, craft beer is trash. Even if I liked it. There was never a time where I could afford to get fucked up on it. Hard liquor.

On the plus side , non alcoholic beers are getting better.

johnmeehan2001 “Regretting that he never got a chance to sample even a single imperial stout during his years abusing alcohol, recovering alcoholic Scott Rimer expressed bitterness Monday that he had the misfortune to reach the lowest point of his life before the craft beer boom.” 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Is a recovering alcoholic allowed to be social drinker?

I can totally relate to this one 😹😹

Quit right before they put Two Hearted in cans, like an idiot

OKAY, THE ONION! I FEEL SEEN! YOU F**KING HAPPY NOW?!?!

But he saved a fortune.

Rock Bottom is no place for Craft Beer.

I hate alcoholics It's not a fucking disease it's weak will power which in of itself could be considered an ailment that's certainly an impairment But there's ways people can increase their willpower

Thought that was Elijah Wood for a second as I was quickly scrolling by.

YOOOO TOO PERSONAL ONION

*alcoholic sparkling water craze

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