Vol 56 Issue 22, Protest

Vol 56 Issue 22, Protest

Police Didn’t Spend Millions On Awesome Tank Just To Let Protests Stay Peaceful

Police Didn’t Spend Millions On Awesome Tank Just To Let Protests Stay Peaceful

6/2/2020 9:29:00 PM

Police Didn’t Spend Millions On Awesome Tank Just To Let Protest s Stay Peaceful

LOS ANGELES—In response to concerns that law enforcement officers were escalating violence in the nationwide George Floyd uprisings, Los Angeles Police Department officials announced Tuesday that they didn’t spend millions on an awesome tank just to let protests stay peaceful. “We got the city to drop, like, $10 million on this sick tank and you expect we’ll just let people stand there chanting?” said LAPD chief Michael Moore, adding there was “no way in hell” that the department would let something like peaceful demonstrations stop them from making use of the vehicle’s “totally tricked-out” weapons system, armor, and ability to ram through virtually everything in its path. “I mean, the city wouldn’t buy a teacher a pencil and then tell them not to use it, right? This is the kind of hardware you just can’t let sit gathering dust—same with the grenade launchers, drones, and tear gas. We have whole storage bays full of projectiles and we’re supposed to just not use them? Get real. They wouldn’t give us all this killer stuff if we weren’t supposed to have a little fun.” LAPD officials added that the city’s residents deserved to witness the full scope of all the badass shit their tax dollars could do.

Read more: The Onion »

I need to retrofit the interior if one of thoses into a tiny home some day.... I thought you guys were satire? TheRickWilson I have seen some disturbing police shootings & it reminds me of a military operations! Police cameras do not lie! The police act as the criminals much like POTUS is the biggest criminal in the highest office GOP to be inlinated on 3rd Nov!

TheRickWilson I have read that police depts. receive the outdated weapons from the military for free. It is the upkeep that costs a lot. Without these tanks and bayonets and riot gear they would not attack peaceful protesters in this disproportionate manner. Like riot gear at violin players. Xanlythe I know it's TheOnion - but this is pretty close to the truth...

Is this a gta online screenshot TheRickWilson On what planet would a police force of a democratic civillian society need one of these fucking things for? No. They bought the ' awesome tank ' in an effort to prevent mass disorder, damage and danger to life when the peaceful protests turn nasty. If the protest stays peaceful the people at the protest won't see the awesome tank !

TheRickWilson No 🌮 Tacos or Guacamole for you! You can forget about servers serving you! Go get your own stuff and make it your self! Let me know how you make out?! ☹️😱😷👍🏆👏⚖️🇺🇲🗽 TheRickWilson LOVE the you make my heart sing!!! 👍🏆👏⚖️🇺🇲🗽 This is no satire. If we can't have a little bit of fun 😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣

Lol The only error in this is that police get their tanks for free from the federal government. If they actually had to spend their own millions on them, they might think twice. (Might.) ShaggyPaisley Too much money on toys and not enough on policing While teachers can't get staplers or pens. The headline with the first comment is gold!

murphdogg29 They don’t miss. PWONKY1 Asswipes! TheRickWilson That’s OUR tax money! Could’ve been spent on the needy! 😡 TheRickWilson Officer Cletus from the West Bumblemachuk PD doesn’t need a MRAP, but if he has it, he’s by God gonna use it for traffic stops. Violence ensues. TheRickWilson I think most was given to police forces You know the military you don't spend it you lose it. So just buy buy buy

TheRickWilson That’s where the defunding should go. The police shouldn’t have military grade equipment! We’re not suppose to be a communist country. Funding for that was the first step towards it. Garou_Hidalgo TheRickWilson 'The scoops are coming! The scoops are coming!' thekjohnston Mexico just closed THEIR borders to the US Think about that for a minute Then ask...and the wall is for what? Keep Americans out? OVER $100 Billion to keep Americans out of Mexico and the Mexicans laugh their asses off at trump, as does the rest of the world VOTE PPL VOTE

thekjohnston It’s like buying a dashcam, you can’t wait for the first prick to cut you up so you can justify the expense to the other half. TheRickWilson You guys are aware the onion is a joke paper. Right? they hardly spend any money, these are basically free due to the 1033 program GaldirEonai Right, they spent that money to run them all over like speedbumps

Just because someone clearly has it coming doesn't mean you do it. Nooo! LOL not too far from the truth 0x0090 Police don't need tanks. Merely hand me downs from global suppressions yet the more WeThePeople are becoming the enmity between me and the, my brothers and sisters. World wide if we refuse to see waiting for a shining city be overrun with true democracy to see though a republic if we all can keep it.

Will teachers be buying their own supplies when the schools reopen? The Onion used to do great satire. Now it is just another news source. Make the Onion Great Again! MOGA Hilarious? Aah . . . Just what they need to put an end to these sick conspiracies of deceit and lies at every level! PFF_Jordan They actually get the tanks pretty much donated to them

Stick with satire onion Can you rehire your 2009 staff? The new material sucks I totally didn’t see the motive! Another Onion headline that doesn't seem fake or funny. When did the onion start reporting the actual news PtboPolice get rid of the gd tank LeaKThompson The Onion? Can't be more fake news than that 🤡

Hahaha, regards, Scandinavia Headline: ¨The Onion Merges With New York Times¨ - Citing Death of Irony, Impossibility of Satire, Futility of Parody. Editors say - ¨We surrender. Idiocracy has won.¨ ¨There is no point.¨ Armored personnel carriers are perfect for drug raids where police mistakenly go to the wrong house.

Want. I love this site When did police actually stop the rioting? Disgusting Too bad they are not actually being used this, but unironically ooooof But that’s an ASV, tanks have tracks. Love you Don’t they get these for free from the army? jwomack You know, when you started in the 90s at U Wisconsin you were just making fun of frat parties....

...a set of tires costs more than an MD education at JohnsHopkins ... The Onion again posting more accurate reflection of the modern world than cable news I hate that the onion quit being satire in 2020. This used to be a satire paper. Damn times have changed. The only thing inaccurate about this is that they get these things for nearly free.

Blitzkrieq solution to protest. The most honest media outlet there is. Can you teach NYT how to write headlines? MassimoFaggioli Like DJT said why have nukes if you're not going to use them? LAPD_unreal can you elaborate? Spend money on a “toy” and you have to find a reason to use it. You lose to TheBabylonBee

The size of those wheels are obviously compensating for something.....small. seems like something that can happen in a everyday riot outbreak but ok Distasteful! You joke but the Miami PD actually does have one of these and didn't pull it out when the riots started. Even though they could have. That’s not a tank!!!

How many times u gonna post this one Yessir They did it because it’s an awesome tank what would you do if you had the money, I’d buy an awesome tank Also includes a link: 'Where to Donate to Help People Fighting for Racial Justice.' ✔ SyrmorS Not sure if that's an M2 or a SAW, but regardless. If you wanna break up a riot, dassapretty good way. Also a pretty good way to start a civil war, but hey, you say tomahto and I say ho shit dassabiggunImouttaherechief

Oh my god golgekisi LOL... too funny. birthmarxist Satire was a way to cope with the abusive relationship we, the people, had with the power structure and those that wield it. Satire is dead because, we are done coping. Change to a real democratic country BrianDeCesare As pimasheriff candidate, I DEMAND realdonaldtrump & crime family syndicate be charged as domesticterrorists & removed IMMEDIATELY from office! ap afp abc nbc cbs npr pbs cnn fox kgun9 tucsonweekly reuters dpa_intl guardian bbc sky cspan huffpost nbc MSNBC

TreaderEpic Unironically tho zaprasheno lmaaao Police shouldn't have tanks the end. JessaReedComedy Ironically in the UK the gov would rather spray water at protesters than fires :/ wpgpolice I swear you guys are crushing it right now😂 The Onion is getting too close to the truth Sorry, but that ain't no tank...

Guys this is the ONION you cant take them serious on anything Onion: Real News for Unreal Times. How does a PD get a m1117 guardian gig_42 I know this is the onion...but that headline is still facts. The Onion: Stop or you’re going to lose me. Hexpatriot They wrote the real article about Milwaukee yesterday. The substituted LA for Milwaukee to make it satire

Feels more real than satire at this point. SimonsSays89 Protests become violent out of their own accord. Take some responsibility for your own actions. Y’all aren’t even a joke anymore I’m- DrocGuidera didn't stop to think the satire might be in poor taste on this one huh JebSprague alexmak А как соотносятся мирные дневные массовые протесты-митинги-шествия с социальным дистанцированием? Или Америку под шумок уже открыли?

x0rz For sure they weren’t letting em’ go to rust, not that they wouldn’t use that rust for their thermite weaponry Its not satire anymore and thats what scares me You forgot the body bags FEMA bought and have ready, they might expire as well. 60Sparkle But didn't the public spend those millions? 😉 esesci Amerika’nın TOMA ile imtihanı

I clicked the link u guys deserve the money Gosh dang onion 😭 3wombats Oh look, it's a protester control tank! These missiles aren't gonna buy themselves people. Makes sense... 🤷‍♂️ brooklynmarie Isn't that what Trump once said —always hard to tell if he's joking — about nuclear weapons: If you don't use them, what's the point?

brooklynmarie So this coup has been planned, also! BenDonahue17 This country Is getting ridiculous honestly StopTheHate Defund the police TheRickWilson RPGs any1 TheRickWilson Reminds me, alas, of Gen. Leslie Groves implying that they were going to use the atomic bomb on Japan because they spent $2 billion developing it.

And trigger tank twitter. Trump: Make America White Again. Let’s go back to the sixties and tear gas them. If that doesn’t work then shoot to kill. The Onion is now being brutally honest. Peacefully beating people up, breaking windows, stealing . Yes, very peaceful. TheRickWilson Tanks for nothing it's going to be june 4th soon. 30 years ago this **** actually happened in my country. i genuinely hope americans or any human won't repeat our mistake.

TheRickWilson Just another part of the Military Industrial Complex Kris_Sacrebleu Its not funny, because its TRUE. Kris_Sacrebleu This is so true and every one of them should be taken away from every police force in America SousLeRadar NOT A TANK. ONION PLEASE CAN YOU POST LIKE ACTUAL SATIRE AGAIN AND NOT STRAIGHT UP TRUTH BOMBS

That’s not a tank. If they put tanks on streets they’d rip it up. PlagueOfGripes I realize this is a joke article but people have died from these “protests” SwiftOnSecurity Damn this thing just like in GTA IV PhillyPu Onion still trying to out-do reality How long until some dumbass CCP clown retweets this and tries to pass this off as truth?

SwiftOnSecurity Thank you reagan. davienp No-no guys this ain't peaceful this is brutality what if the police reduce the population of the states instead of the virus A question from Germany: Can the police in the United States take over old military vehicles (tanks, etc.) from the military almost free of charge? Then they actually didn't spend anything. Or have I misunderstood something?

thelindsayellis Fuck ya! Very funny. They call an APC a tank, but everything else just straight out of news. MagicKing78 Bad taste. I can't tell if this is satire anymore The Onion turned me away for good with shots at PE industry, among our finest. Used to like it but that was too low Think that’s an APC, but can anyone bid? That would be a cool bug-out mobile for when storm troopers parachute in...

Goddammit I wish this were a joke after all the braggadocio re: how much we spend on military 😡 Chris_Stuckmann stg Gordon just tried this on Harley Quinn I don’t see ‘police’ written anywhere on that tank Looks familiar Please tell us the joke Y’all think this is a joke but straight up have this in cities across America

*billions RikeFranke Not a tank BobDevney Has the Onion won its Pulitzer, yet? JoshtheSandwich That’s that Tesla truck ain’t it? 🤔 robdelaney Wonder how many police departments nationwide have acquired their own MRAP tank, compliments of a free military program, to the tune of billions? Ohh no such innocent peaceful protestors They didn't do nothing wrong

robdelaney If they keep this up then America, once a metaphorical beacon to the world, will soon be an actual beacon. Stay peaceful. You better check the news out morons getvent i don't see the joke here... Stick to satire Onion. LilShpee If you show it in the first act you have to show it in the third

To be fair, those armored tanks were part of a BOGO deal Exactly! Don’t let those tax dollars go to waste! Reading this was the highlight of my day. The Onion nails it again. 9/11 allowed them militarize even more than before. But now. Look for face recognition to more widespread by our government. Where’s the satire?

TRUE The only inaccurate thing about this is they likely got it at a much steeper discount That's an APC, not a tank GovTimWalz demilitarize the police Some people disagree with this, but also argue that government shouldn't be wasteful. Pick a side! Do you want to spend trillions on military equipment, then let it rust!!!!

'Can't wait to get some brains on this bad boy!' Why not put the army just to make sure that their are peaceful protest instead of completely ban them with curfew? these articles are becoming too real Our tax dollars at work. Canadian armoured vehicle sales be like; Where’s the joke? When the onion starts posting factual stuff you'll live in 2020

The ole “once a year we take it for a spin around town” Thanks we need humor like this right now! The truth. Frightening times. Tanks are the only thing I am willing to let my tax dollars be used on. Call it the el killmino We need Robocop. Funny and horrifying. The police over- weaponizing and proliferating is proof of how powerful our words can be when they are backed by the truth

Can i rent one of these bad boys ? The Onion remains the most honest source of news analysis Is this the military parade? TANKSGIVING BITCHES

De Blasio, Police Commissioner Defend Officers As Violent Police Videos Go ViralNew York City Mayor Bill de Blasio defended police officers while announcing that independent investigators will review the NYPD's response to this weeke... Someone who loves the microphone should stay away from a microphone Leave it as is. 'There's fine people...on both sides...'

Halsey Details Police Encounter at Los Angeles George Floyd Protest“A true patriot is someone who will rebel against the government if it becomes necessary, to protect the greater good of their fellow citizens. We are patriots” The only reason people are protesting is because it is trendy !!!!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 She should pay to get those in custody out then. Just another privileged rich person. Hmmmm... Let's see how many Fucks are given.

California police are arresting dozens of protesters after curfew in Los Angeles and Oakland Protest s following the death of George Floyd, a black man who pleaded that he couldn't breathe while he was held down with a knee by a former Minneapolis police officer, have spread nationwide. Follow here for the latest updates. Why are you using SF as a geographical landmark? We know where Oakland is. I am the servant of St Joseph foster father of Our Lord Jesus. It is now illegal to protest when the goverment has said so.mjust like Iran and Venezuela. But why are the US the loudest screaming at other countries for banning protests? 🤷🏻‍♂️ most hypocrite country on earth. Yes some people are looting, but banning all protests is dictatorship

Los Angeles police shoot, wound person in Adams-Normandie neighborhoodLos Angeles police shot a person, non-fatally, in the Adams-Normandie neighborhood on Monday night, a spokesman for the agency said. Los Angeles police shoot, wound looter/rioter in Adams-Normandie neighborhood Ok...'The Summer of Justice' continues!!!!!

Tense protest at Iowa police station ends in peace as officers, protesters kneel togetherA tense protest ended with a show of peaceful solidarity in Des Moines, Iowa, when police officers and protesters knelt in honor of George Floyd. This would be a lot more meaningful if the police weren't dressed and equipped like they're going to war. Time to call it like it is...The Republican Party is Racism Inc. and Trump is their poster child. Remember Spencer's 'Heil Trump'? or KKK David Duke's 'Trumps our man'? The Republican Party spent years painting Blacks/Hispanics as subhuman, criminal leeches living on welfare. What a gesture!!!!!!

Michigan police sheriff says George Floyd's death was 'straight-up murder''I don't need to know anything more than 8 minutes and 46 seconds of what he did,' said Genesee County Sheriff Chris Swanson. Finally, some honesty in the police leadership. I will build 50 high quality dofollow SEO backlinks link building for top ranking Details here: Thank you very much HeroesAmongUs ❤️🇺🇸