NEW YORK—In an effort to ease tensions with the public and restore their tarnished public image, the New York Police Department reportedly commemorated Independence Day this week by using fireworks for crowd control. “We’re hoping this festive display will help us all come together as a community to celebrate this great nation by shooting Roman candles into gatherings of protestors,” said Commissioner Dermot F.
Shea, telling reporters that the department had a full artillery of stunning pyrotechnics at their disposal with which to subdue suspects. “We’ve already gotten a wonderful response from getting the chance to ooh and ahh at those brilliant plumes of red, white, and blue exploding into the faces of a cluster of marchers.
Might work...
OMGoodness what has happened to the Policemen and Women in this country?
Patriotism at it's finest!
GOOD!
Ya go America antivax
‘The bombs bursting in hair’.
So nice of them to share their love of country!
Sounds like just any other day in Portland
Perfect
Because thats what heroes do
So that's where the fireworks came from last night.
...don’t
Looks like Dumbledore's wand
Might as well leave that mask in the patrol car!
Must protect the Best Buy. They’re going to steal all the iPhone chargers!!! 😮🔋📱
Im. gyk. Hv lot flat murder with ELTE intlaw. Change these and some has null Ft flat take away. Fehervari street 125-157.
I wonder where they got that idea? Copycats.
Fitting
4everNeverTrump Very illegal.
Crowd control using Roman Candles and Bottle Rockets are da bomb
Sigh....you got me Onion...its so hard to suss out reality rn!
When do you start doing satire again?
It might just be the tear gas talking, but this display of patriotism brings a slight but persistent tear to my eye.
Sexy women please hit up my friend before he gets shot with fireworks today
4everNeverTrump Very 4th of July crowd control ... NYPD finest
You wish! As if cops would waste time with fireworks when they have all that weaponry and ammo available.
4everNeverTrump You can’t really have satire anymore with trump playing *president.
Is this a real picture?
_
Why is that photoshop so good haha
Someday, hopefully soon, will return to satire.
Oof, this is NOT funny..too dark and they already use tear gas, so why not fireworks...
Lol 50/50 chance this is real 😂😂😂
Rubber bullets explode into a beautiful display.
Unclear if this is actually satire.
👎🏾
I thought you guys did satire?
Had to check that this was the onion
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