Perfectionism Made Me Feel Like I Was Never Good Enough

Writer @APapayanis shares her journey towards self-acceptance.

1/14/2022 11:00:00 PM

Writer APapayanis shares her journey towards self-acceptance.

Perfectionism is a constant state of wanting, writes Alena Papayanis. At 40, she's still trying to heal her inner critic.

(which resulted in a full breakdown).My perfectionism, in fact, made a lot of emotional sense. As a people-pleaser, I had expected so much from myself, to be able to shift to fit the image expected of me, the one that I thought would win me what I wanted: a feeling of worthiness. It’s a feeling that my perfectionist habits also provided — I was a chameleon with no core colour of my own, trying to perfectly adjust to other people and places.

Not only people-pleasers suffer from perfectionism, though — its reach is much wider than any single personality type. Although people can become perfectionists fordifferent reasons, such as highly critical or rigid parents, receiving a lot of praise as a child for accomplishments or, more generally, low self-esteem and feelings of being out of control, the inner narrative that goes along with it is the same: you’re not good enough, try harder.

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