Ominous Twitter Bio Warns Foolhardy Readers That They Have Entered Realm Of Political Incorrectness

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jeffturner78

Man Who Refered The Onion As Reliable News Source For Lifetime Diagnosed With Schizophrenia

It’s been 6 days without a post, you good?

I’ve seen real ones like this🤣🤣

seanpendlebury seanpendlebury Sean, since you retweeted this, do you think you'd get along well with Mr. Turner?

seanpendlebury seanpendlebury Sean do you think you'd get along well with Mr. Turner?

LMFAO

To be fair these are the easiest targets

Clearly a huge bad ass though! Nobody messes with a real patriot because they’re too scared of what would happen

Punisher avatar trolls are the only people to have misunderstood a text more than V For Vendetta avatar trolls.

davidsirota Why is every dude with a punisher icon a fucking psychopath?

HeckaDecima Pronouns in profile.

cstross If it ain’t the skull its sunglasses and sitting in a vehicle

GailSimone He should smile more.

GailSimone Why is it that most of the people who put the Punisher skull on everything are usually people Frank Castle would just as quickly yeet into the sun?

finally recognition

GailSimone Lol NickNafster79 👆

The hell, dude?

jeffturner78 sup?

that boy needs jesus

At least a hundred such accounts came to my mind when I read this, why is this news?

maxwell_p

TheEpicDept Remember when The Onion made satire and wasn't a serious news outlet? Those were good times.

davidsirota He must be a real badass xD

Brace yourself, 2014 memes ahead

His only exercise is hitting the block button any time someone questions his logic.

“Be afraid of a man in a 2003 Ram pickup.”

icklenellierose It's people like that which make me reconsider my profile picture...

Last name Turner is a nice touch

Lol, this bio needs some more emojis: ⭐️⭐️⭐️🍕🐸🐸✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌⚜️⚜️⚜️🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷✝️🐸⚜️❌⭐️🐸🐸⚜️✝️❌🙃⭐️✝️✝️✝️🐸🐸⚜️❌⚜️❌⚜️🇱🇷⭐️🇱🇷🐸✝️⚜️❌🇱🇷⚜️⭐️✝️🙃🙃🙃❌🇱🇷⚜️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✝️🐸❌🇱🇷❌🇱🇷❌🇱🇷❌⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️⭐️✝️⭐️✝️⭐️✝️❌

caitlinmoran Needs to be careful he doesn't open a vein on all that edge.

JordanUhl 🤣🤣🤣

MaraWilson 'All brain abandon, ye who enter here.'

Funny how that always seems to coincide with racism.

MaraWilson ArtDecider Art or not art?

CC: jeffturner

demi_darling his old myspace bio said welcome to my twisted mind

18 followers? I know this is satire, but that number feels RIDICULOUSLY HIGH for this kind of man.

And various other forms of incorrectness.

Fucking hell man ya really had to pick the guy named Jeff? My name sucks

Oh aren't you cool

LOLOL kronykal your friend Render64 has made the Onion cc MauhFeels :)

Why do people pride themselves on being assholes? It's a really weird way to advertise yourself, like, what's the fascination with being rude to people and basing your entire personality on being a prick to own the strawman political opponent you have living in your head?

The Onion is the Exocet missile of truth to the HMS Sheffield of lies

SaysSimonson Now do blue wave

new bio! 😍🥵

marc_laidlaw The Onion is so exasperated by the news of the modern age that they just point out something that was already pretty obvious.

So his 18 followers agree with him? lollollol

This just in, Ominous Twitterer bans self from his own realm.

Iheartnoise It's missing the follower of Christ line in the bio.

Lmao.

'Snowflakes not welcome.' Ironic.

I thought this was supposed to be satire

More like obvious cop.

I bet he also enjoys using words like “Obummer” and “Democraps” in every post.

What does that avatar mean? I am unsurprisingly out of the loop.

Hahahahahaha

katebarstool One man’s bullshit is another man’s sack of groceries...

jeffturner78 YOOOOO

Thank you Jeff, very cool!

wear a mask! If you’re gonna bust heads and blow shit up. Use common cents.

This one is going to be a meme.

Somebody has taken that username jeffturner78 and will hopefully use his power to prank someone he personally knows.

I directly called out this avatar in my pinned tweet from two years ago! I hate this person!

Ok

travis_view I'm sorry, I thought this was a satire account

travis_view Oh man the onion just went there. Joe M and majorpatriot73852 are gonna be steamed

travis_view That is the mask of the divorced man, whose wife won't let him see the children.

ColtonColtoff

PokerPolitics 'Jeff T' is here to talk about the Storm™

^also a proud member of aubreysarmy

😀😀😀 going to bookmark this for when it needs to be deployed

onion step up your game, i've seen plenty of profiles like that

CuddleCryptid I mean, that's quite understated as these things go...

cameron_kasky In other news, I was just released from the hospital after a case of carpal tunnel from giving my block thumb too much of a workout

That gives me an idea for my profile. Bullshit allowed zone. Snowflakes welcome. J/k but that might attract some interesting followers. 😊.

Nice

One day, one of them will turn to another and ask, 'are we the baddies?'

You nailed it except you could have made it perfect with jeffturner4376473562

I think I got blocked by that guy.

LizardRumsfeld AKA entering “the butt zone”

It also needs some kind of joke take on pronouns like 'pronouns are your majesty' or 'pronouns are fuck/you'

Why are the baddies always obsessed with skulls?

That's what I was looking for. You are an oasis in a desert of mindless schmucks

Lol

These avatars are also encouraged if your bio reads like that.

Needs 15 more flags to really convince.

Pfffft if he were truly hard there'd be a thin blue line through that Punisher flag.

Jihad me at *offender*.

jeffturner78

I've found that the people who say these things are the most easily outraged. Funny... I mean who could have guessed? Idk...

What does it mean that I started melting while reading that bio?

Five minutes with me and I’ll have him begging for his momma.

Area man hates snowflakes, has meltdown if informed gay people exist

Or everywhere in Idaho except Boise.

jeffturner78

Drag them, Jeff

Usually those people are the most sensitive

What about us sheeple?

Huge if true

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