Vol 56 Issue 28, Twitter

Vol 56 Issue 28, Twitter

Ominous Twitter Bio Warns Foolhardy Readers That They Have Entered Realm Of Political Incorrectness

Ominous Twitter Bio Warns Foolhardy Readers That They Have Entered Realm Of Political Incorrectness

7/16/2020 12:31:00 AM

Ominous Twitter Bio Warns Foolhardy Readers That They Have Entered Realm Of Political Incorrectness

The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source.

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jeffturner78 Man Who Refered The Onion As Reliable News Source For Lifetime Diagnosed With Schizophrenia It’s been 6 days without a post, you good? I’ve seen real ones like this🤣🤣 seanpendlebury seanpendlebury Sean, since you retweeted this, do you think you'd get along well with Mr. Turner? seanpendlebury seanpendlebury Sean do you think you'd get along well with Mr. Turner?

LMFAO To be fair these are the easiest targets Clearly a huge bad ass though! Nobody messes with a real patriot because they’re too scared of what would happen Punisher avatar trolls are the only people to have misunderstood a text more than V For Vendetta avatar trolls. davidsirota Why is every dude with a punisher icon a fucking psychopath?

HeckaDecima Pronouns in profile. cstross If it ain’t the skull its sunglasses and sitting in a vehicle GailSimone He should smile more. GailSimone Why is it that most of the people who put the Punisher skull on everything are usually people Frank Castle would just as quickly yeet into the sun? finally recognition

GailSimone Lol NickNafster79 👆 The hell, dude? jeffturner78 sup? that boy needs jesus At least a hundred such accounts came to my mind when I read this, why is this news? maxwell_p TheEpicDept Remember when The Onion made satire and wasn't a serious news outlet? Those were good times. davidsirota He must be a real badass xD

Brace yourself, 2014 memes ahead His only exercise is hitting the block button any time someone questions his logic. “Be afraid of a man in a 2003 Ram pickup.” icklenellierose It's people like that which make me reconsider my profile picture... Last name Turner is a nice touch Lol, this bio needs some more emojis: ⭐️⭐️⭐️🍕🐸🐸✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌⚜️⚜️⚜️🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷✝️🐸⚜️❌⭐️🐸🐸⚜️✝️❌🙃⭐️✝️✝️✝️🐸🐸⚜️❌⚜️❌⚜️🇱🇷⭐️🇱🇷🐸✝️⚜️❌🇱🇷⚜️⭐️✝️🙃🙃🙃❌🇱🇷⚜️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✝️🐸❌🇱🇷❌🇱🇷❌🇱🇷❌⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️⭐️✝️⭐️✝️⭐️✝️❌

caitlinmoran Needs to be careful he doesn't open a vein on all that edge. JordanUhl 🤣🤣🤣 MaraWilson 'All brain abandon, ye who enter here.' Funny how that always seems to coincide with racism. MaraWilson ArtDecider Art or not art? CC: jeffturner demi_darling his old myspace bio said welcome to my twisted mind

And various other forms of incorrectness. 18 followers? I know this is satire, but that number feels RIDICULOUSLY HIGH for this kind of man. Fucking hell man ya really had to pick the guy named Jeff? My name sucks Oh aren't you cool LOLOL kronykal your friend Render64 has made the Onion cc MauhFeels :)

Why do people pride themselves on being assholes? It's a really weird way to advertise yourself, like, what's the fascination with being rude to people and basing your entire personality on being a prick to own the strawman political opponent you have living in your head? The Onion is the Exocet missile of truth to the HMS Sheffield of lies

SaysSimonson Now do blue wave new bio! 😍🥵 marc_laidlaw The Onion is so exasperated by the news of the modern age that they just point out something that was already pretty obvious. So his 18 followers agree with him? lollollol This just in, Ominous Twitterer bans self from his own realm. Iheartnoise It's missing the follower of Christ line in the bio.

Lmao. 'Snowflakes not welcome.' Ironic. I thought this was supposed to be satire More like obvious cop. I bet he also enjoys using words like “Obummer” and “Democraps” in every post. What does that avatar mean? I am unsurprisingly out of the loop. Hahahahahaha katebarstool One man’s bullshit is another man’s sack of groceries...

jeffturner78 YOOOOO wear a mask! If you’re gonna bust heads and blow shit up. Use common cents. Thank you Jeff, very cool! This one is going to be a meme. I directly called out this avatar in my pinned tweet from two years ago! I hate this person! Somebody has taken that username jeffturner78 and will hopefully use his power to prank someone he personally knows.

Ok travis_view I'm sorry, I thought this was a satire account travis_view Oh man the onion just went there. Joe M and majorpatriot73852 are gonna be steamed travis_view That is the mask of the divorced man, whose wife won't let him see the children. ColtonColtoff PokerPolitics 'Jeff T' is here to talk about the Storm™

^also a proud member of aubreysarmy 😀😀😀 going to bookmark this for when it needs to be deployed CuddleCryptid I mean, that's quite understated as these things go... onion step up your game, i've seen plenty of profiles like that cameron_kasky In other news, I was just released from the hospital after a case of carpal tunnel from giving my block thumb too much of a workout

That gives me an idea for my profile. Bullshit allowed zone. Snowflakes welcome. J/k but that might attract some interesting followers. 😊. One day, one of them will turn to another and ask, 'are we the baddies?' Nice You nailed it except you could have made it perfect with jeffturner4376473562 That's what I was looking for. You are an oasis in a desert of mindless schmucks

Why are the baddies always obsessed with skulls? It also needs some kind of joke take on pronouns like 'pronouns are your majesty' or 'pronouns are fuck/you' LizardRumsfeld AKA entering “the butt zone” I think I got blocked by that guy. Needs 15 more flags to really convince. These avatars are also encouraged if your bio reads like that.

Lol jeffturner78 Jihad me at *offender*. Pfffft if he were truly hard there'd be a thin blue line through that Punisher flag. I've found that the people who say these things are the most easily outraged. Funny... I mean who could have guessed? Idk... Five minutes with me and I’ll have him begging for his momma.

What does it mean that I started melting while reading that bio? What about us sheeple? Usually those people are the most sensitive Drag them, Jeff jeffturner78 Or everywhere in Idaho except Boise. Area man hates snowflakes, has meltdown if informed gay people exist Huge if true

Readers' Choice Beauty Awards 2020

Ominous Musical Cue Clarifies Audience Supposed To Be Frightened Of Blood-Splattered Man With PickaxeAll the latest entertainment coverage from The Onion, America's finest news source. idk i think he might be an antihero movie magic! Looks like he's ready to shop at Walmart.

This All-Time Strategist-Favorite Natori Underwear Is Under $10“They’re made from plush pima cotton with a touch of spandex and edged in delicate (but not twee) lace … They last for years (literally), and the fact that they come in over a dozen fashionable colors is a nice little bonus” You have to show the back, if it rides up no good

Lana Del Rey to Release Poetry Book | V Magazine‘Violet Bent Backwards Over the Grass’ will be available to readers and listeners later this month. maikvoficial 🌻🌻 LanaDelRey purrr

Peacock Announces Premiere Dates for A.P. Bio & More Original Shows! - E! OnlineAll the details on NBCU's streaming service's 20,000 hours of TV and movies to binge! peacockTV Taylor Kitsch underrated actor peacockTV Love everything about this. cleareyesfullhearts

All-Ages Comic Book Hero 'Jupiter Jet' Flies Back to Bookstores This FallThe second volume in the award-nominated independent series comes from the same creative team as the 2017 'Vol. 1.' Folks, I was part of the original team and am not mentioned in the article. I'm also the only other part of the team. As someone that had to do all the steps making a comic, I can easily say it’s a crime to leave TaylorEspo out of the article when mentioning the talent working on it. Please do better It would mean a lot to the comic book community if you included *all* the names from the creative team in your reviews. Please reconsider excluding the letterer!