Olympians Explain How They Trained During The Pandemic

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“I made sure to practice in a safe, isolated space, so I just kept booking Subway commercials.” -Megan Rapinoe (USA, Soccer)

“I couldn’t go to a regular facility to train in pole-vaulting so I had to get creative. I started by vaulting over small animals—mostly squirrels and the occasional cat.

Obviously, I graduated to dogs, small breeds at first, but then pit mixes and eventually a mastiff. But the final frontier is to finally vault over man. My only fear is that once I’ve crossed that threshold, there will be no turning back...”

 

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Hoping that the Tony Hawk pro skater was not a joke

Subway has the only foot longs she'll go near

Let’s just hope you don’t love kids as much as the last spokesman lmao

The onion doesn’t fucking miss

But was there tuna?

No Subway slander will be tolerated sorry

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