Officer Points To Unarmed White Man He Once Killed To Prove He’s Not Racist

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SAGINAW, MI—Recalling the time he and his partner fired dozens of rounds into the shoplifting suspect’s body, local police officer Bradley Denney reportedly pointed Monday to the unarmed white man he killed once to prove he’s not racist. “Look at all the people I’ve brutally beaten and killed before judging me, alright?” said Denney, who pointed to his pristine disciplinary record as further evidence of his lack of bias. “It doesn’t matter if you’re white, Black, Asian, or Hispanic; I’ll shoot you. I approach every civilian with the same number of bullets in my chamber, regardless of skin color. I mean, I shot that guy nine times in the back. Would a racist do that? And he was definitely white. Well, we found that out afterward. The lighting wasn’t very good at the time.” At press time, Denney admitted he initially thought the man he had gunned down was biracial.

 

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Oh so as cops 👮 if you kill white people & black people that means you are an equal-opportunity 👮 cop killing $h!tbag 💩 ? Good to know. I will sleep easier knowing 👮 cop punk$$ b!tches can kill white or black people. EndQualifiedImmunity

Poe’s Law.

all cops look like this including him

That doesn't make it any better....

edisn I'll be. The Onion was able, after all this, to still find a satire article to write that had not yet become factually true. Get that zine a Pulitzer!

fredric_wertham Not satirical enough to stand out as satire. The bar is made too high by our F’d up reality.

Wow.

When i see you walk a mile in a pair of cops boots and deal with what they deal with then i may respect your opinion, until then

Now, if only The Onion could prove they're not racist. TheOnionSucks

Wow you all know this is a joke article? Its the Onion. People are so easily manipulated.

greatervince Lmao the amount of people eating the onion

I thought this was a satire sight?

I didn't read that this was from the onion and I believed it 💀😭

Hahahahaha hahaha this is Candace Owens in a nutshell

Well ok, now we are making progress!

This is an actual argument racists and bootlickers use to try to justify police brutality.

😂😂😂

'Here's four white guys I killed and one black guy.' 'And what is the racial percentage of your town?' 'Oh, it's 99% percent white. It's uh well I killed the one black guy.'

VaushV Yes I tried to genocide black people but also left handed whites so Im actually woke

csydelko dont worry guys he’s just a murderer

tadpr0le You guys jumped the shark. TheBabylonBee is where it’s at. The Left’s lack of sense of humor, anger, hypocrisy, and terrible arguments and positions has flip flopped the comedy universe. The Right used to be this way. Now the Left is this way. In sum, Left can’t meme.

Well, the sad thing is that now many others are thinking the same, police or not. I read about the people that were just arrested. It seems not even policemen were out of the focus of those people. What kind of society is this, and who encourages all of these things? THINK people

More white people, armed or not, are killed by police than blacks or Hispanics year over year.

csydelko That isn’t a real person....is it?

TheBabylonBee

Accidentally backing over someone with your patrol car isn't quite the same thing..

Reality is the parody now

Is that Jay Cutler’s face?

Cool_Stuff_Guy Um I all of the sudden feel the urge to be “frisked”. Just a thought.

cameron_kasky What's up with this cop's face

Fact that he assailed his white victim while he was standing in the hot sunlight wearing his mirrored sunglasses. He noticed the victim leaning against the wall, under a shade canopy, of a local coffee shop, and was smoking a cigarette that he mistook for a joint. Mea Culpa!

Finally some diversity

ZhugeEX Officer kills an asian to prove he doesnt exclusively hate black people

I have seen this argument in many of my threads, not made by police, but by their defenders.

cameron_kasky “I ain’t racist! I have a Black friend!” 🙄🙄🙄

cameron_kasky This feels a little too real

Sergeant to rookie: 'Now remember, kid: if you're ever going to shoot a white person, you'd better make damn sure that they're poor.'

You’re more likely to fall and die in the shower than you are to be killed by a cop. 99.99% of all police interactions with civilians end peacefully. This “issue” is fake and boring. Please move on & stop instigating stupid people to riot.

‘ I am an equal opportunity murderer’

You guys really need to hire someone better for your photoshops.

AdamAizer is that you?

ayo chill some idiots actually tried to use this shit as an argument before lmao

'I've killed some of my best friends.'

ArrowsNeo Ummm ... treading that line, I guess. lol 😅

Well, that proves it conclusively. 😒

and that white man? that white man was me

Love when comedy turns to poignancy. Brilliantly done

That picture is going to haunt my dreams.

HappyBirthdayMarina

'I'm not racist, I have a white victim!'

Is this the Cops version of I can't be racist, I have a black friend? I mean if you just shoot anyone or anything that refuses a lawful order, how can one accuse you of being racist?

The weirdest part of this onion article is that it’s already happened numerous times 🤣

10 million arrests per year. 40 million police interactions. Fewer than 1,000 shooting deaths of people of any race, including the armed and dangerous, despite 27 deadly weapons attacks on officers per day. Maybe we should spend more time focusing on a corrupt prison system?

That’s the plot of one of the episodes of Reno 911, Quibi edition.

Why do I feel like this is something that could actually be true despite it coming from the onion

He isn't racist, he is a 'no lives matter' sorta person

Once again, if it weren't the onion, I'd believe it.

Some cops support Vanilla Isis.

I mean, still a bastard tho.

Nothing beats Evidence based testimony 😋

wow you've got to read these before you post them. 2020 has been a tough year for everyone but you guys seem to be taking it harder than most. not funny

Satire at its finest.

hummingbirdcare He thought the guy was half black

TheOnion not even trying anymore

That's.... Donald Trump literally said that. Fact is much fucking worse than fiction.

HillsideD Should he be in the police force.

I don’t have my glasses on but- did y’all photoshop a front facing face onto a 3/4 head

That's morbid af but 😂

This man has a future as a defense attorney when he's done being a killer Cop!

no dude this is that bowling guy

And people still say cops are racist 🙄

How does somebody look so much like either a cardboard cutout or an overrealistic sim at same time?

With Eyes like that it's a wonder he can hit anything.

People legitimately say Police Kill White People too as if that somehow makes it okay. ALL police brutality is bad

Way to subtweet the right

People really do try and use this argument, though. “Oh but cops kill more white people each year than black people!” So the logic is the cops aren’t bad because they actually kill twice as many people?

Why does his face look AI generated

goes hard in the paint

dad did you write this

I've literally heard a Red MAGAt use this argument

Does anyone see how fucking sad this all is? I'm trying to find humor, but man...this one really mad me sad. I feel like an idiot saying this, but this didn't make me laugh and these usually do

Actually he will have to kill 2 whites to 1 black for concrete proof. I dont make the rules

'See, he's right over there mowing his lawn.'

It was the only killing he felt bad enough about to document without being told it was required.

Did he point to the unarmed white guy he killed because it prove he was not racist, or did he kill the unarmed white guy to prove he’s not racist? Title could be understood either way.

WHERE IS THE JOKE! WHERE IS IT!

This is literally an argument bootlickers make lmao

The onion ain't missed yet

Does he want to come over to role play Cops and Robbers?

Spicy

LOL GREAT TIMING FOR A JOKE!

Yeah we don't highlight the equal opportunity murderers enough!

When is he speaking at the RNC this week?

Impeccable timing as always!!

'white homeless man' because homeless anything is their 2nd favorite targets.

How can I be racist? I hate everyone, regardless of race!

What an amazing officer ❤️

Jay Cutler?

I know this is the onion, but we all know damn well that is possible for someone to come up with this excuse.

Also emphasized he listens to music by JimiHendrix and LennyKravitz

'How can I be a misogynist? I beat unarmed men all the time, not just my wife.'

This is why TheBabylonBee is better than .

The Left can’t meme.

When the Onion starts matching what actual right-wing arguments were, that police also kill a lot of unarmed white people, it starts becoming really spooky.

'How can I be racist?! I have several white bodies!'

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