Not Having Sex With My Boyfriend in College Helped Me Figure Out Who I Really Was

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“I had to prove myself in a different space, a space that didn’t equate a woman’s self worth to a boyfriend.” 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

guide to what you need to know about sex and your body before you head to college. Whether it’s getting tested, taking care of a yeast infection, or opting out of so-called hookup culture all together, we’ve got you covered. In this op-ed, Briana Lawrence explores why she chose not to have sex with her boyfriend in college, and how eschewing the relationship she thought validated her led her to a deeper appreciation of her identity.

So, in my senior year of high school I got a boyfriend, and I thought he was the proof I needed to remove the “weird” label I’d been given. The dialogue around me switched from concern about my relationship status to relief. “She finally has a boyfriend.” I smiled about it, but honestly? I didn’t see what the big deal was. It did, at least, make the “you’d be cuter if” statements stop.

High school me had been willing to put up with it because she thought she had to, assumed it was part of the boyfriend package. But things were different this time. I was in college now, out on my own, away from my boyfriend and those well-meaning so-and-sos. In the time I was away from home I had to learn how to take care of myself, and a big component of that is self care. Those “weird” Japanese cartoons? A reward for getting through the week.

 

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Sex should be practiced after 18 years and child birth only after 19 this way you give time to your body and hormones to develop and enjoy sex.

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