North Korea Holds Quiet, Low-Key Nuclear Test Just For Self

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PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA—Referring to the event as a simple, no-frills detonation among close friends, state officials confirmed Thursday the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea recently held a quiet, low-key nuclear test just for itself. “To be honest, it doesn’t really matter how the international community responds to our show of strength—this one was for us,” said a DPRK spokesperson, adding that observers of the test had been encouraged to “come and go as they pleased” but to be there at midnight if they wanted to experience the magnitude 5.5 earthquake from the underground blast. “This wasn’t to impress anyone. We had all these miniaturized nuclear warheads sitting around, so we threw a little something together. Nothing too big, just a 70-kiloton blast with some scientists and a few guys from the Central Committee of the Workers’ Party. It was all pretty casual.” At press time, the U.N. Security Council had issued a resolution condemning the nuclear test but acknowledging it had to be considered a success on its own terms.

no-frills detonation among close friends, state officials confirmed Thursday

the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea recently held a quiet, low-key nuclear test just for itself. “To be honest, it doesn’t really matter how the international community responds to our show of strength—this one was for us,” said a DPRK spokesperson, adding that observers of the test had been encouraged to “come and go as they pleased” but to be there at midnight if they wanted to experience the magnitude 5.5 earthquake from the underground blast. “This wasn’t to impress anyone.

these miniaturized nuclear warheads sitting around, so we threw a little something together. Nothing too big, just a 70-kiloton blast with some scientists and a few guys from the Central Committee of the Workers’ Party. It was all pretty casual.” At press time, the U.N. Security Council had issued a resolution condemning the nuclear test but acknowledging it had to be considered a success on its own terms.

 

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Bye bye D T ✌️👏👏✌️

Red smoke for Valentine's day!

That’s so sweet. Eco-friendly 🙏🏻🙏🏻

As a treat.

There celebrating Donalds acquittal.

Love that for them 💕

Wow, just wow. Can't believe that the onion really just posted this, have you no morals? North Korea just wanted to test out its rockets and you cant give them a modicum of privacy? SMH can,t even kill some Americans without it being news. pullbackthelayers

0Marissa_Renee0 They’re doing another nuclear missile test again?

Weapons version of 'Feel cute, might delete later' 😆

'It was really meant as a Valentine's Day gift to the nation.'

The rocket was named 'Self-Esteam'

It was a mostly peaceful occasion.

CONMAN approves👍

cloud looks neato

They'll all get a bang out of it.

I do the same thing when I'm bored

Well you start inviting people and you end up working in the kitchen all day.

Personal nuke days are important for a despot's mental health.

'We just wanted to nuke test and chill,' an official said.

Covid and all

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