Developed by world-renowned and recently single engineer Phillip Werner, the Life Force Crusher-X is said to feature six disorienting vertical loops, 150-feet of highly unstable barrel rolls, a portion in the middle where the ride just suddenly stops for no reason and refuses to start again until riders apologize, and an unexpected 310-foot drop at the very end.
According to park officials, the coaster begins with an impulsive burst of acceleration that, when riders reflect upon the experience years later, will prove to be the only enjoyable portion of the ride. A series of unexpected and painful twists rapidly follow, leaving riders confused, strangely resentful, and wondering if they made a huge mistake getting on the ride in the first place.
I’d probably ride it, then have an existential crisis and cry while eating some overpriced Dippin Dots before moving on
thejoeball
You better believe it!
She knows her way around town more than the ice cream man
Deborah inspired me to develop a patent for a jack hammer that goes a little easier on concrete.
One of my all-time favorite pieces from The Onion
Did Stone Cold write this?
aceonlineorg
It was fun until someone got hurt falling off the Oh Here That Bitch Goes Again
Sweet! Vortex of Acrimony played my Prom. Tribute band to the Smiths
Do y’all still do funny stories?
The Cheating-With-Your-Cousin Corkscrew really makes your stomach flip.
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