New Pop-Up National Park Offers 500 Square Feet Of Pristine Wilderness For Next 2 Days

📆 9/11/2019 5:49 PM
📰 TheOnion

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ATLANTIC CITY, NJ—With its organizers hailing the temporary site as the city’s hottest destination this week, a new pop-up national park offers 500 square feet of pristine wilderness for the next two days, sources confirmed Wednesday. “Starting bright and early this morning and continuing through dusk tomorrow, the best Instagram opportunity in the city will be the Pavati National Park, with its .000017935 square miles of scenic vistas, 15-foot-long hiking trails, and over 10 species of flora and fauna,” said pop-up organizer Kellen D’Agostino, showing off the national park’s choice location just minutes from the Atlantic City boardwalk, adding that he was planning to tour the site through select cities so urban dwellers across the country could take in the beauty of America’s natural world. “For a limited time and just a $50 entrance fee, visitors can breathe in the fresh air while walking between the pop-up park’s dozen mountain hemlocks, or relax next to the gorgeous three-foot waterfall in its northwest corner. There’s a little salmon run, too, as well as sage grouses, bald eagles, a moose, and a variety of other amazing animals you’ll be able to photograph from a safe distance. Of course, communing with nature doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice comfort and fun—our pop-up park includes an artisanal small bites station, three minibars, coat check, and even a cozy cabin one lucky couple can book for the night—just don’t feed hors d’oeuvres to the animals! Arrive early, because we’re capping the national park at 30 people at a time. You do not want to miss the exclusive national park event of the fall!” At press time, the pop-up national park had been ordered to close after a bear escaped and mauled several pedestrians in the middle of N. Albany Avenue.

Write Comment

LeeTheEcologist Hope there isn't a bush fire

. well it would be cute if they left them though right?

That’s a pretty solid idea.

The bear killed me.

with starbucks inside

Was this the inspiration?

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