New Patriotic 1776 Commission Struggling To Find Ways To Improve Upon Education System’s Existing Propaganda

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WASHINGTON—Frantically scouring textbooks to find sections in need of revision, members of President Donald Trump’s new patriotic 1776 Commission struggled Wednesday to find ways to improve upon the education system’s existing propaganda. “We cut out every mention of Native Americans, but I’m not sure how else we could improve the misleading information,” said Princeton historian Sean Wilentz, detailing the commission’s incremental changes to curricula, such as omitting the fact that John Adams, Samuel Adams, and Thomas Paine were the only Founding Fathers who didn’t own slaves. “We did find that most public schools don’t discuss the men who helped Betsy Ross sew the American flag. Other than that, there isn’t too much to change unless we pretend the Vietnam War never happened. Or I guess we could emphasize the plight of former slave owners during Reconstruction.” At press time, the 1776 Commission was editing a section on Abraham Lincoln to clarify that “he had a gun on him” at the time of his assassination. \n

WASHINGTON—Frantically scouring textbooks to find sections in need of revision, members of President Donald Trump’s new patriotic 1776 Commission struggled Wednesday to find ways to improve upon the education system’s existing propaganda.

such as omitting the fact that John Adams, Samuel Adams, and Thomas Paine were the only Founding Fathers who didn’t own slaves. “We did find that most public schools don’t discuss the men who helped Betsy Ross sew the American flag. Other than that, there isn’t too much to change unless we pretend the Vietnam War never happened. Or I guess we could emphasize the plight of former slave owners during Reconstruction.

 

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What do they know? Most of them got into the country without visas. Dang feriners.

The Gulf War was over when George W Bush said “Mission accomplished!”. American History 101

holy shit

Since we're re-rewriting history, instead of using the term slave, say 'altruistic workers who refused to take money'. Then use 'slave' to refer to the white landowners. That way the rich white folks look like victims, 'cuz, I mean, just look at how hard it is to be rich & white.

You guys aren't as good at this as you used to be.

And the IndigenousPeoples can't wait to see what the improvements are.

Why are they struggling?

'Native Americans never existed, they are just an allegory for the difficulties faced by brave early Americans in taming the wilderness with nothing but ingenuity and faith in Jesus.'

They're going to eliminate the slavery part altogether and replace the native Americans with black people.

The Onion is a conservative news network

Just make Jesus an American people already believe that

The American Nationalism Project was in 1860. That's when they created all of our nation's myths. It wasn't the founders. You should read the ideas they threw out.

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