New Findings on What Victims of Abuse Really Believe

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Understanding why some people feel drawn to unreliable, dishonest, manipulative, or cruel intimate partners is the first step toward positive change. ArashEmamzadeh explains.

et al. found small or medium correlations between violence perpetration and the mistrust/abuse schema.First, note that intimate partner violence victimization was most strongly correlated with maladaptive schemas in the domain ofThis makes sense because many people who have experienced intimate partner violence do not feel safe, supported, accepted, or loved in their intimate relationships. They fear their romantic partner will manipulate or physically hurt them...or, eventually, abandon them.

Paradoxically, victims of abuse may also feel drawn to neglectful and abusive relationships—to unreliable, dishonest, manipulative, and cruel intimate partners. Why? Perhaps because the behaviors of abusive romantic partners “validate” victims’ distorted worldviews—e.g., that relationships are dangerous and these individuals are vulnerable to mistreatment from abusive romantic partners or spouses.domain. This may partly explain why many victims of abuse have trouble leaving abusive relationships: Victims lack

in their ability to function on their own or survive in a world they perceive as dangerous and unpredictable.and victimization indicates victims of intimate partner violence are commonly focused on the feelings, needs, and desires of—likely motivated by the desire to gain their approval. However, other-directedness comes at the price of being unaware of own emotions and needs.

 

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