Dalai Lama, World, Vol 55 Issue 45

Dalai Lama, World

‘New Day, Same Bullshit,’ Whispers Dalai Lama Before Slapping On Smile To Greet The Masses

‘New Day, Same Bullshit,’ Whispers Dalai Lama Before Slapping On Smile To Greet The Masses

8.11.2019

‘New Day, Same Bullshit,’ Whispers Dalai Lama Before Slapping On Smile To Greet The Masses

MCLEOD GANJ, INDIA—Gripping the rim of the sink while staring at his reflection in his bathroom mirror, the Dalai Lama reportedly whispered, “New day, same bullshit,” Friday before slapping on a smile to go greet the masses. “If one more person asks me for spiritual guidance in the face of adversity, I’m going to blow my fucking brains out,” said the 14th Dalai Llama, sighing while checking his watch and reminding himself that he only needed to get through eight hours of congregating with throngs of devoted followers before he could return home to crash in front of the TV for the rest of the night. “It’s always something with these people. One of these days, some poor schmuck is gonna tell me how much I inspire him and I’ll snap. I’ll just start screaming and never stop. Pull it together, Tenzin, people are counting on you for spiritual leadership or whatever. God, I’m exhausted.” At press time, the Dalai Lama was laughing while discussing the beauty of divine benevolence in an interview with BBC News.

Read more: The Onion

MonicaLewinsky But he's not smiling? MonicaLewinsky I am sure you have days like this Monica. Namaste woman. FORM IS EMPTY SMILE. EMPTY SMILE IS FORM MonicaLewinsky I snickered twice as much, because I just found it amusing that this was retweeted by MonicaLewinsky . Not exactly sure why. I guess it was just a strange collision of universes.

MonicaLewinsky perspective 😏 That guy's funny I thought you guys were a satirical news account? [chorus] every day is exactly the same every day is exactly the same.. feels :) Pray not for an easy life; pray for the strength to endure a hard one - Bruce Lee He ordered a pizza saying, “make me one with everything”

He beats the bullshit by matching it in consistency and form.

Okay BioWare, I’ll Play, Here’s Where ‘Mass Effect’ Should Go NextYesterday on N7 day, BioWare started to get fans’ hopes up with a single question, “Where do you think Mass Effect should go next?” Bring it back! I'm getting old .. and don't want to die before a revival of the series q.q

He's been stealing most of his material from joerogan lately icanhaha At least he doesn't resort to nuclear warfare when dealing with life's hardships. GHANDI. I often feed small birds, but when they come together, hawks spot them and catch them -- a very bad thing. So in order to protect these small birds, I keep the air rifle.

Wise man he is is that the saying? Life is suffering Are those Calvin Klein or Gucci frames? ToastystToaster Lama was Pakka, I should be was a yokai named for Whisper discovered it up like as Jewelpet named for Pakka.... His life is quite similar to that of a wal mart worker

Rick Santorum Tells Trump The Numbers Don't Lie: You've Got A ProblemThe GOP former Pennsylvania senator slapped Republicans with a bleak warning about the suburbs. He's a failed Senator. Who cares? Just another President wannabe lusting for power

I wonder, does the Dalai Lama have the option to retire? Cause I'd be feelin' that urge about now, no doubt. Didn't need this today Onion😄 I know for a fact I'd be in unshakable bliss if I lived in a quiet temple with loads of money from book royalties and speaking engagements and never had to ride the NYC subway.

Gunga galunga SSDD At least he has total consciousness, so he has that going for him, which is nice Awe. But he can see the sprits. Haha lol wise beyond his years. I followed his bullshits and gained internal peace, met him in India. Lets meditate

Jessica Simpson's Daughter Birdie Might Be the Happiest Baby Ever!The proud mother of three posted another photo of her smiling baby girl. Eetailed opinion BusyPhilipps did u know about this She is quite a cute girl ETnow

Pigeons Playing Ping Pong Are Looking Ahead On 'Dawn a New Day': ExclusivePigeons Playing Ping Pong strike a hopeful tone on its buoyant new single, 'Dawn a New Day,' premiering exclusively on Billboard today (Nov. 7).

Opinion | Beijing Can’t Bring Home the BaconFrom WSJopinion: Along with slow growth and high-tech oppression, pork shortages in China may make the masses squeal, writes Michael Auslin opinion masses need to be heavily armed and overthrow corrupt Chinese government opinion Wooooomp opinion biologic weapon, US is responsible for this epidemy

Airbnb pushes new safety measures days after deadly party-house shootingAirbnb is pushing out several new safety features in the wake of a shooting that killed five people at one of their bookings, CEO Brian Chesky announced. A lot of BS here.

Write Comment

Thank you for your comment.
Please try again later.

Latest News

News

08 November 2019, Friday News

Previous news

Ahoy, Weekender Junior Explorers! Can You Find This Issue’s Hidden Penis?

Next news

At Tennessee Titans Games, the Fiercest Tailgaters Are Kurds