Nebraska Governor Announces Program To Help Lift Children Out Of Violent Cycle Of Corn Cults

LINCOLN, NE—In an effort to reach those 18 and younger who had turned to a dangerous false god lurking in the fields, Nebraska Gov. Pete Ricketts

announced a program Monday aimed at lifting children out of the cycle of violence they fall into when they join corn cults. “It is imperative that we provide deprogramming services to the young, impressionable Nebraskans who have been lured into the cornfield by a demon,” said Ricketts, referring to the mysterious deity who reportedly orders children around the state to murder and dismember local adults, the human sacrifices perhaps serving to replenish the soil with the souls of the righteous.

Children of the Corn was epic scary, I'm glad they're finally addressing the underlying issues. So when will the sheriff or OSHA shut down HolidayHospice (my book, cheap on Amazon)? How many janitors must burn alive? How many nurses must be electrocuted with defribulators?

Now if we could get their goddamn parents to quit listening to this penis with ears the kids wouldn't feel like they need to join these corn cults and we wouldn't need this program. BTW, for those of you not from Nebraska, children of the corn is real af.

SHARKHUMANZ

ActualCorn

ActualCorn

GovRicketts is a white supremacist.

The sad story of Conservatism among the rural population of Nebraska

There is nothing wrong with our corn cults. Those children chose to be here.

you got me all wet.

I call bullshit. Everyone knows Nebraska's entire economy hinges on the Corn Cults.

Declares that there is not a kernel of truth to the allegations that he, himself, has stalked children for any of these groups.

Great, now who's going to detassle?

tntradioempire you guys see this …..🤣🤣 love the onion

That would be the first thing he has done for the children.

Still a better life than children's lives in Chicago...

Bro thought he could sneak Nebraska in there 💀😹🙏

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