Nation's Unemployment Outlook Improves Drastically After Fifth Beer

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WASHINGTON—Despite ongoing economic woes and a jobless rate that has been approaching 10 percent, U.S. unemployment projections drastically improved Monday after the consumption of five beers.

"It's going up," leading economist David Singleton said confidently, indicating the predicted growth in jobs with an upward wave of a Bud Light bottle. "All the way up. By the end of the month. No problem."Singleton said the economy would begin its rebound once employers realized that there were many currently unemployed skilled laborers across the country who would "bust their asses" in a number of growing fields.

According to analysts, both long- and short-term forecasts showed signs of recovery between the third and fourth beer, but the fifth alcoholic beverage was the point at which the employment rate began to close in on 100 percent. The employment outlook looked especially promising for those who couldn't afford to eat before drinking.Reports from those well on their way toward putting away a whole six pack suggested that unemployed Americans could look forward to increased job security and much higher salaries. In addition, many half-in-the-bag analysts said they foresee greater career satisfaction and massive quality-of-life improvements following the inevitable arrival of new employment opportunities.

 

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Because it was a DOMESTIC!!... Slight irony that the beer was remarkably watered down that it took 5. Ah, Metaphors

For the kids: not only does beer consumption increase your employment outlook, you can build furniture out of the empties in your dorm room. Science

I see that this chart was produced at the University of Iowa, sometime during the 90s.

What's up with the drop when you approach 'Way Fucking Up'. Don't be a wuss. Drink.

5th glass of red wine though tanks the economy.

Now begs the question, does unemployment taste great or is it less filling?

LOL

Beer 1. “Man I’m really bummed about losing my job.” Beer 2. “I gave them 10 years of my life.” Beer 3. “My boss was always a jerk.” Beer 4. “Ahm gonna start that surf shop I always wanted...” Beer 5. “Who needs a job! Fuck capitalism!”

Give the economist that created this graph a Nobel prize

I love it, but should these axes be swapped?

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Ha, ha, ha, ha . . .

You flipped the axis

Cc: steveliesman carlquintanilla davidfaber

Guess the solution to all problems are at the bottom of a bottle

2 more and I'll share the optimism.

Well, you’ve kinda got the axes reversed from typical (dependent/independent), but I guess that happens after five beers too. 🤪

All evrenybody has to do was turnm theh chart upsidedown. *burps*

🤣🤣🤣

Beer glass goggles projection.

we need to get the beerconomy up and running again

I moved to Vodka shots... Looks even BETTER 😈

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