Nation Attempts To Fall Asleep By Doing Little Impression Of Sleeping

Nation Attempts To Fall Asleep By Doing Little Impression Of Sleeping

Neuroscience, Mental States

1/21/2022 5:46:00 AM

Nation Attempts To Fall Asleep By Doing Little Impression Of Sleeping

SAN FRANCISCO—Climbing into bed in hopes of getting a solid night’s rest for once, a tired, bleary-eyed nation announced Sunday night that it would now attempt to fall asleep by doing a little impression of sleeping. “All snuggled up and ready to sleep—here I go!” said 26-year-old Bay Area resident Daphne Halloway ,…

SAN FRANCISCO—Climbing into bed in hopes of getting a solid night’s rest for once, a tired, bleary-eyed nation announced Sunday night that it would now attempt to fall asleep by doing a little impression of sleeping. “All snuggled up and ready to sleep—here I go!” said 26-year-old Bay Area resident Daphne Halloway, one of more than 330 million Americans who reportedly let out an exaggerated yawn, hugged a teddy bear, and squeezed their eyes tightly shut, hoping the lighthearted imitation of sleep would trick their brains into letting them drift off into a genuine slumber. “Yes sirree, I’m being whisked away to dreamland…h

Read more: The Onion »

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FACT! Then realised all sleeping poses look super gay if one was upright. as a kid i'd pretend a ghost was in the room and i'd have to fake to sleep. it's easier now i know the ghost is real This is like the 3rd onion article about sleeping. Are you OK dude/ette/they I don't wanna talk about it. I’m going to be up all night thinking about this…

Not Onion material, this shit actually works. did you say something If you just can't sleep, pretend to be asleep, like when you're parents checked on you. Personally, I pretend I’m dying before sleeps. Imma do a Lil impression of a coma

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Might be best one yet Related: 'Fake It 'Til You Make It' Fake it till you make it.

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Alerts SAN FRANCISCO—Climbing into bed in hopes of getting a solid night’s rest for once, a tired, bleary-eyed nation announced Sunday night that it would now attempt to fall asleep by doing a little impression of sleeping. “All snuggled up and ready to sleep—here I go!” said 26-year-old Bay Area resident Daphne Halloway, one of more than 330 million Americans who reportedly let out an exaggerated yawn, hugged a teddy bear, and squeezed their eyes tightly shut, hoping the lighthearted imitation of sleep would trick their brains into letting them drift off into a genuine slumber. “Yes sirree, I’m being whisked away to dreamland…h mm, okay, might need to sell it a little harder: Honk, shoo, me-me-me-me! Honk, shoo, me-me-me-me! ” On Monday morning, reports confirmed the strategy had failed, and the nation was now stretching its arms above its head and rubbing its eyes as it began a daylong effort to do a little impression of wakefulness.